Hot damn. The house is moving along really well. Steve and I did drywall for a couple of hours today.
So last night I saw Amanda for the first time since we broke up 4 months ago. Or rather, we made plans for the first time. We'd seen each other twice before. We'd made two attempts at being friends and fucked it up both times. The first was her fault, the second mine. We sat down over falafel (damn good falafel, too...) and chatted about work and social stuff. And for the first time we talked a little about our relationship. For the first time she acknowledged an understanding of now I felt and where I was coming from. That felt good.
I've been looking for closure on that relationship since it ended, and I think I got it last night. I don't know why it was so important to me that she understand why I ended the relationship.
What worries me is that we haven't had any practice being friends. We have the most incredible chemistry I've ever had with anyone, physical, mental, emotional. Just sitting across the table from her last night was enough to remind me why I fell in love in the first place. I've been a big believer that love like that translates into the best friendships because you truly want to see each other happy. I'm cautiously optimistic that this will work out.
And then to make the night more interesting, I spent the rest of the evening chatting with the woman I'm totally into who has a boyfriend. And I'm friends with the boyfriend. And I'm hearing about the ups and downs of that relationship. And I'm using all of my brain power to avoid saying anything that could come between them. My job is to completely remove myself from that dynamic and let it sort itself out on its own. If it's meant to be, it will be.
So last night I saw Amanda for the first time since we broke up 4 months ago. Or rather, we made plans for the first time. We'd seen each other twice before. We'd made two attempts at being friends and fucked it up both times. The first was her fault, the second mine. We sat down over falafel (damn good falafel, too...) and chatted about work and social stuff. And for the first time we talked a little about our relationship. For the first time she acknowledged an understanding of now I felt and where I was coming from. That felt good.
I've been looking for closure on that relationship since it ended, and I think I got it last night. I don't know why it was so important to me that she understand why I ended the relationship.
What worries me is that we haven't had any practice being friends. We have the most incredible chemistry I've ever had with anyone, physical, mental, emotional. Just sitting across the table from her last night was enough to remind me why I fell in love in the first place. I've been a big believer that love like that translates into the best friendships because you truly want to see each other happy. I'm cautiously optimistic that this will work out.
And then to make the night more interesting, I spent the rest of the evening chatting with the woman I'm totally into who has a boyfriend. And I'm friends with the boyfriend. And I'm hearing about the ups and downs of that relationship. And I'm using all of my brain power to avoid saying anything that could come between them. My job is to completely remove myself from that dynamic and let it sort itself out on its own. If it's meant to be, it will be.
I'm really glad you got some closure on that relationship. I'm still looking for some of that, thought I have absolutely no interest in being friends with him.
From personal experience, being friends with the boyfriend(i was actually the girl in the situation) after a long while I ended up with the friend of my then-boyfriend. And it was worth the wait.