saffire

Someone asked where I was from today and this is what I told them...

Well it all started when I was a sperm, I had a hard life. Swimming... Swimming constantly with no land hoy. Then one day I was a approached by a mysterious big egg thing... I went to have a look inside. All of a sudden I was trapped with no way out, the entrance had closed. I felt like Indiana Jones, but worse. I had no rope, no light, no knives, no beautiful woman. Little did I know I was inside the beautiful woman, and she wasn't helping. I spent many gruelling months in solitary confinement. It was dark, and in there I grew bitter and twisted failing to understand why egg of doom swalled me? Why me? My tail was splitting, I was growing into a weird shape, OH the frustration!!!

I started to hear noises, and felt prodding. This strange level of distortion had a banging beat, it was unlike all the other mumbles I'd heard before. Yes, for all this time it was stairway to heaven.

The strange goo around me started to disappear... I felt tugging on one of my tails...

Then...

One day in the North west of the republic of Ireland, in a little town called Castle Bar (I really wanted to write Bethlehem), I was born, I popped out like a ping pong ball in Thailand. The womb was no match for me!! From then on I knew I couldn't be contained! I continued to grow and somehow ended up in Essex.

Do you remember that?