sadieblackeyes

so I was meant to be sorting my life out this weekend but instead I got stuck in an electric kool aid funkadelic acid groove and ended up watching a beautiful sunrise (it was an absolute cracker; all blazing oranges and mauves and slashes of pink) from a roof; then nearly falling off said roof, and playing croquet (badly) and being found by my friend kissing one of his roses. which was all lots of fun, such as it is, although it would have been a lot easier if anything would stay still long enough for me to know where or what it actually was. acid is lots of fun but it's so bloody difficult sometimes

and then back to reality and I have to figure out how to pack my entire life into a few cardboard boxes. I seem to have accumulated all this... crap over the last few years; i think about what I actually need - clothes, books, films, music, the odd object of worth - but then there is so many other things as well, little items which signify a particular experience or moment, captured in a stone or a badge or a shell or a trinket. sometimes I think I'm just scared of losing it all, but that is one thing I seem to be adept at - getting lost even in contexts it should be nigh on impossible to do so within. and i suppose in the long run it kind of makes sense, as only by losing ourselves can we then go on to find ourselves

i just wish it wasn't so easy to lose that other most crucial of things, the plot