sabre

Dear God....from dogs.

Dear God:

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom if ever, smell each others butts?

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and there is no human to hear him, is he still a bad dog?

More meatballs....less spaghetti...please.

Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I have to apologise?

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent, ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Here are a few things I try to remember each day, to be a good dog:

I will not eat the cats food....before they eat it or after they throw it up.

I will not roll on dead animals or poop, just because I like the way they smell.

The sofa is not a 'face towel'....neither are laps.

The garbage man is not stealing our stuff.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand, when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

I will not play tug of war with Dad's underwear, when he's on the toilet.

I don't need to suddenly stand up straight, when I'm under the coffee table.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house....not after.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

The cat is not a squeaky toy. When I play with him and he makes that noise, I should put hime down and leave him alone.

And finally God...one last thing.

When I get to heaven, may I have my testicles back???