sabine

wow..suddenly things around here seem to have spiraled while i and over half of the suicidegirls have much of an idea of what even happened. i'm sure the members are even more confused. i guess the point is that people just have differences sometimes. i'm just sad that it came to this, really cool girls leaving. especially toreena who i had just gotten the courage to start sort of talking to and wanted to some day meet along with other canadian girls. blah. and of course dia. at times i adored her or looked up to her and even soemtimes hated what she had to say or thought she was a tad harsh but i always had a lot of respect for her. (just once again, too shy to make contact. i'm a wuss like that.) but yeah, the site will go on. and there are a lot of neat new girls..and if i'm not too shy i may even get to know some of them there are already at least 5 of them i have a crush on.
i really do hope to meet some other girls. not just for pictures, though i have some fun ideas. i'd probably be all shy and quiet but some of them seem really easy to feel comfortable around, so maybe i could over that. this is why i have a hard time making friends. most of my friends here i met online first, i just find it easier that way. it's wierd though, i'm not as introverted as i sound..i'm just wierd about meeting people. and now i'm rambling. dont mind me.
sooo....the picture taking this weekend was quite a disappointment. but i havent checked out the pictures yet, so i'm not totally hopeless. we had many obstacles, and i'm not sure with the very limited time and resources available any of the pics turned out well. i'll have to find out tomorrow when i go get the camera. oh well, if they're all shitty i have an even better idea to execute wednesday, so i promise I WILL send in something soon.
you know, it's the second week of school and i've been to one class! haha. i'm terrible. i really am. i spent the night with a friend. after the picture taking we ate then stayed up talking until 2 am when i realized i really didnt want to go out to my cold ass car and drive home. so i got up today to go to work but not in time for class. there's a 80% chance at this point that i'll change my major. i'm really not a logical, scientific thinking kind of person. already i find the subject dreadful. i want to do something creative. just not sure what yet. and i have this nagging feeling that i really should finish school after all this time and money invested. i just need to find a major i can get into. so many decisions, so few options. or maybe there are many options i just havent discovered yet. i hate it when i'm unduly optimistic. heh
well enough rambling. i really just wanted to get more comments on my journal it makes me feel special.