Holy Cow. It's been 8 years since I became a SuicideGirl. Tomorrow will be my anniversary! That is so surreal to me. Life has changed in all of the best ways since then. I've moved around the country, been married, divorced, and married again. Had 2 kids. Participated in planning events for SG, shootfests, and attending conventions. I've made life long friends on this site. I've had some of the best times of my life because of this site. Thank you for everything @Missy and @sean. You'll never know how much it has meant to me being a part of this sisterhood and community. The smiles are endless. A major shout out to all of my girls who have made this a life changing experience for me (I know I will leave some out, but you know who you are!); @chrysis, @yesenia, @toxic, @lego, @acacia, @spliff, @brooklyn, @waikiki, @albertine, @sobelle, @oliviablack, @elody, @kiley, @medusa, @mnislahi, @gunner, @megan, @amarena, @sunshine, @venus, @july, @drave, @suri, @apple, @karma, @dierdre, @jupiter, @modest, @lucysky, @muerta...i know there are more I'm forgetting. but i love you girls SO much...you're all incredible women and a huge part of why SuicideGirls means so much to me. oh, and @thelabrat , @cdo , @stoneart; you boys have a piece of my heart too :)
A recap of the last 8 years on SuicideGirls....
I became an SG when I shot my first set with @scottsmallin in South Carolina. It was bought right away and went front page on May 22, 2007. I hardly had any tattoos, wore entirely too much make up, I don't even think I was 21 yet. Just a wee babe! I had only ever done hair and make up modeling until this point, so taking it all off was a little nerve wrecking. But then I met Scott, and he was a blast and it was one of the most liberating experiences I've ever had. This was a major changing point for me in my life. I really began to break out of my shell and find myself.
I remember that year I got to do my first convention as a SuicideGirl and how blown over I was to meet @Fractal and @Suri. I also got to hang out with Lou Ferrigno, which was something I'll never forget...he was so funny and kind. That was a great day.
The next year I shot a set that was bought, but never made front page called "Beautiful." I wish I still had photos from it, I think I might on my old computer. I had blonde hair, and I shot it in my mom's bedroom. it was also the first time I got to meet and work with @Brooklyn. What a complete joy this woman is. Our set was bought, but when the site switched over to the Member Review format---I ended up moving it to MR in hopes it would go live sooner. Eventually it was taken down when I had a temporary archival due to my overbearing ex husband who forbade me to be involved with the site. One of the many reasons he is my EX husband ;)
But I came back. And I shot "420" which was my third set bought from SG. It went live in 2008 on 4.20, obviously ;) @brooklyn also shot this set, which was done in my bedroom of my very first apartment. I had a lot of comments on the set saying my eyes were photoshopped and that I didn't look high enough. Brooklyn, being the beautifully intelligent woman that she is, suggested that I rolled the spliff and shot the set, and then at the end we would do the photos of me smoking so I wouldn't look completely and wildly stoned throughout the whole set. My orange boy cat, Severus the Great, also made an appearance in this set alongside his momma Pyki.
man my hair used to look terrible, haha. I think I was in cosmetology school here too...tsk tsk.
Then I got pregnant shortly after this set was shot and I took a long break from SuicideGirls, though I didn't archive. I just didn't shoot. Eventually my ex-husband and I got divorced and I began to remember myself and I started shooting again. My comeback set was shot with @Brooklyn as well back in 2011. It was a really awkward day because I literally had just found out that Jared was going to try and take custody of our son, James. This set never saw the front page, but it was a blast to shoot. It is also the day when @Acacia and I reunited for the first time in years, and decided that at some point we would have to shoot a multi together. Lots of folks said our bodies were too different, our looks were too different, we wouldn't make it work...so we put it on the back burner for a little while.
In 2012 I attended the St. Augustine shootfest that @yesenia organized. This week literally changed my life. I met some of the most incredible women I would ever met and truly fell in love with all of them. The bonds and friendships that were forged that week will last a lifetime. I'll never forget @chrysis retelling the tale of @mnislahi's antics at 3 am. Hiding in the closet. Did we ever figure out what she was doing in there? I love you girls through and through. Anyways! During that week I shot a few sets, including a multi with @mnislahi that was never bought (but was SO MUCH FUN to shoot) and my next bought set from SG called "Game Day."
I had wanted to do a Cowboys themed set since I became an SG. I've been a die hard football (and Dallas) fan since I was in 1st grade. Coming from a family of die hard Redskins fans---leave it to me to be the rebel. I think I really just liked the colors ;) While @thelabrat and I were shooting this set the Cowboys were playing HORRIBLY. And Dylan kept trying to get me to be playful and cute. I wanted to throw a beer through the TV. I don't even like PBR. But I drank it because it was all we had and I had to drink my sorrows away... seriously, @thelabrat if you and @toxic hadn't been making me laugh so hard while I shot this, I probably would have ended up making mean girl faces throughout the whole thing. Game Day ended up being my first set back on SG in 4 years!
In 2013 I went to my first Hell City. I got to meet @spliff for the first time, which alone was a milestone. Seriously...she is just a beautiful soul. I reunited with some of my SG soul mates like @chrysis, @toxic, @lego, @yesenia, and my darling @sobelle. Belle and I shot some fun polaroids with mega babe @shotgun and I also got to watch her shoot the always fabulous @drave. Then we shot a little set of our own...after eating too many hot dogs and drinking too much beer cause that's how I do. We shot "Come On, Baby" which was named after a tattoo I had recently gotten on my leg. At first I thought the set had been submitted without the comma and therefore reading; Come On Baby. But it was fixed! Funny, none the less. Commas save babies, people. Don't forget that ;)
I laughed throughout this whole set. Belle is one of the most beautiful and lively women I've had the pleasure of knowing. I hope to see you again soon, lady!
In 2013 @yesenia and I hooked up to organize the Las Vegas shootfest. This shootfest was the week before my wedding. So not only was I shooting, trying to keep things organized around the house and running smoothly, planning an event at a local bar to raise money for Falling Whistles with @oliviablack, but I was also planning my wedding. Maybe I got in a little over my head---because I ended up leaving the mansion and hiding at my best friends house for a few days. And gorging on chimmichangas. What a week---it was such a great time though. I shot a few sets, including my multi with @Acacia, which later made the front page :) This set was so natural. @Acacia and I have known each other for years and have always been in love since the beginning. This was so much fun to shoot!
a few other sets that never made Front Page that will probably come down soon...
"Don't Lose Touch" shot by @waikiki. This set was REALLY hard to shoot because not only did some random "pool guys" show up to try and clean the pool that was surrounded by about 20 naked women, but there was also a bunch of mix ups between the girls and their assigned shooting areas that we were interrupted with a few times. It was still a lot of fun shooting with my lovely gemini sister Waikiki, but it was so hard to stay focused! None the less, I loved this set. I sleep in silky nightgowns so it felt very comfortable and natural.
"Soul of The Fire" by @CDO was shot at my best friends house. I didn't realize until later that I was actually reading Temple of the Winds in this set. Whoops! I love the Sword of Truth series, and my favorite way to relax is to curl up with a book and a glass of wine. Christian is one of my favorite human beings ever. Dude. I miss your guts. Thanks for making me look pretty in this set :)
"Irish Cuppa" was also shot at my best friends house. A simple set done with me making a cup of tea, lounging around in my underwears. I thought this set came out beautifully and @azera really brought it with her photography. Very fun :)
There was a never before seen set shot as well, a 5 way multi between @toxic, @spliff, @lego, @acacia, and myself. It was called "The Craft" and we had hoped it would have seen the front page for Halloween. I think @sobelle may still be selling images from the set. It was dusty, dirty, hot, and filled with leaking popsicles. How fun :)
@albertine and I shot "The Promise" in a fight against the light. This is probably my favorite set I've ever shot. I just love the lighting, the natural feel of it. I felt so great while I shot it and i adored every minute of working with @albertine---especially with @spliff helping with the reflector. I still have a hope this set will see the front page one day. Fingers crossed, it would really be incredible and so meaningful to me if this one could make it. Who knows, maybe I will get lucky!
And that brings me to where I am now. I am finally feeling like myself again after having a baby, who is almost 11 months now. My body is back to normal (well, my boobs are still bigger, yay!). I have some new tattoos to show off, and my hair is long and natural. I am hoping to organize another shootfest one day. Life is so crazy right now, but things are starting to settle down. My husband is working for the school system and we are getting back on our feet after that huge financial hit we took with this move. I'm making a life here in Florida and I am really starting to like it. I miss Maryland entirely, but it will still be there one my custody agreement is fulfilled. 4 more years! In the meantime, I am soaking up the sunshine and enjoying the struggle. I am hoping to travel soon and, with some luck, shoot again.
Thank you guys for making my little spot on this site such a joy. You have my undying gratitude and love <3 Thank you again to @sean and @missy for making it all possible. You guys have really done something special here. I feel so lucky to get to be a part of it.
xoxoxoxo
