oh god. so i just came from pretending to watch the super bowl over at anaxarete's and Afterbirth's house. im stealing this picture of their little boy and their puppy stella - thats right, you know who the bitch was named after - cause i didnt get any tonight.
all i can say is, god, someone come over here and knock me up!! i want a baby. i know, i know, i should wait till i get married and get a nanny to raise the kid. i guess ill just play pretend with theirs in the mean time. oh god, he was so cute. he totally loved me. he gave me a smootch on the cheek and waved goodbye to me. i think he confused me with mommy at first cause we were sitting on the couch and he was using my boob as a pillow, but as long as he wasnt trying to suck on anything, well, thats fine. he was walking around carrying my purse which was almost as big as he was. im in love. i would steal him but he wears cloth diapers and there is no way im touching that shit - literally. anaxarete and i were talking about the whole carbon dioxide in the air global warming disposable diaper thing and i thought about it. yes, 2000 diapers is a lot of waste. i guess my kid will just cancel out the good that your kid did.
ok, i cant believe how much i ate tonight. seriously, the bulimia starts tomorrow. i had mini-corn-dogs (vege - sans stick
), pizza, soda, potato chips, and, i think this is what did me in.
what is it? lets see how much i remember. its whipped cream, condensed milk, pudding powder, cream cheese, banana, and cookies. no, im not kidding. it was actually quite good, even though it was a bit too sweet. i think it was the combo of that and the carbonated soda that did me in. you know how people say "i think i just threw up in my mouth a little" to try to be funny? yeah. not fucking funny.
someone recently told me im gross. he asked me if i ever think maybe im crossing a line and going too far in what i say. yeah, i used to stop just short of the line. then i realized, i didnt draw the line, so why am i standing back? my friends that i know and hang out with, i know how far i can go with them and most of the time try not to offend them. i do that cause i love them and have no problem with that. but if you dont like the things i have to say, there is a very easy solution. just go away. but consider yourself warned - you totally will miss me.
all i can say is, god, someone come over here and knock me up!! i want a baby. i know, i know, i should wait till i get married and get a nanny to raise the kid. i guess ill just play pretend with theirs in the mean time. oh god, he was so cute. he totally loved me. he gave me a smootch on the cheek and waved goodbye to me. i think he confused me with mommy at first cause we were sitting on the couch and he was using my boob as a pillow, but as long as he wasnt trying to suck on anything, well, thats fine. he was walking around carrying my purse which was almost as big as he was. im in love. i would steal him but he wears cloth diapers and there is no way im touching that shit - literally. anaxarete and i were talking about the whole carbon dioxide in the air global warming disposable diaper thing and i thought about it. yes, 2000 diapers is a lot of waste. i guess my kid will just cancel out the good that your kid did.
ok, i cant believe how much i ate tonight. seriously, the bulimia starts tomorrow. i had mini-corn-dogs (vege - sans stick
), pizza, soda, potato chips, and, i think this is what did me in.what is it? lets see how much i remember. its whipped cream, condensed milk, pudding powder, cream cheese, banana, and cookies. no, im not kidding. it was actually quite good, even though it was a bit too sweet. i think it was the combo of that and the carbonated soda that did me in. you know how people say "i think i just threw up in my mouth a little" to try to be funny? yeah. not fucking funny.
someone recently told me im gross. he asked me if i ever think maybe im crossing a line and going too far in what i say. yeah, i used to stop just short of the line. then i realized, i didnt draw the line, so why am i standing back? my friends that i know and hang out with, i know how far i can go with them and most of the time try not to offend them. i do that cause i love them and have no problem with that. but if you dont like the things i have to say, there is a very easy solution. just go away. but consider yourself warned - you totally will miss me.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
sloan:
the beauty of not being married is not having to get divorced.
acidslug:
Yeah, I get a lot of that about crossing the line, myself. Oh well, the important people know how to deal with it. And, babies are all cute and fun till its you cleaning up their shit.