ryancorpse

Yesturday was not funny at all. i woke up thinking i'm going to get my guitar set-up for the show i'm playing and while i'm out i'll hand out some resumes. i ask my father for a ride and says "sure". so as i'm getting out of the car my favorite pants rip all the way up the front. i asked my father if he could give me a ride back home but all he does is say good luck, closes the door and drives off. so after a good hour of my friends at the music store laughing at me they give a couple of safety pins until i can somehow get some new pants. With safety pins in place i leave the music store and try to catch a bus. i almost miss the bus, but it's a good thing i ran. but, while running the safety pins open. so as i'm walking on to a very crowded bus i'm thinking i can't fix the big hole in my croch while on the bus. so i just cover the hole with my jacket. problem fixed...nope. as the bus drives away, the bus is driving over curbs and through many potholes, each time the OPEN safety pins stabing me a million times each bump in the road. this happening so many times a little girl started crying because she thought i was making scary faces at her. so after a 20 min bus ride and the little girls mom almost swatting my with her purse, i get to the mall. i buy some pants and figure i'll just go to the fitting rooms to change pants. so after i switch pants, i walk towards the exit of the store, feeling good and no pain. a store security lady grabs me and says i shoplifted. I explain my story and after i good 1/2 hour of the security lady laughing i get banned for the mall for a month.
I"M SUCH A DORK.