Dear record store girl,
No, I don't want a $25 gift card. I don't want to purchase Passion of the Christ for the low low price of $9.95 with a purchase of $9.95 or more. Frankly, I didn't care much for the film, I thought it was depressing, but thats a different story all together. Truthfully i come in all the time because I want to get your phone number. Yes, Yes, I know you have no clue what I'm talking about because I've never said more than 10 words to you, but i feel like a douche every time i get the balls to ask you. So next time I come in, how about we just have sex. I don't need to know your name, what kind of car you drive, or what school you go to. I bid you good day.
Yours,
Ryan G. Dipietro, esq.
No, I don't want a $25 gift card. I don't want to purchase Passion of the Christ for the low low price of $9.95 with a purchase of $9.95 or more. Frankly, I didn't care much for the film, I thought it was depressing, but thats a different story all together. Truthfully i come in all the time because I want to get your phone number. Yes, Yes, I know you have no clue what I'm talking about because I've never said more than 10 words to you, but i feel like a douche every time i get the balls to ask you. So next time I come in, how about we just have sex. I don't need to know your name, what kind of car you drive, or what school you go to. I bid you good day.
Yours,
Ryan G. Dipietro, esq.
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p.s. I triple dog dare you to say that to a girl...any girl!
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