Journal Poetry Day
:Sweet May:
I lost the short life I had lived today
In love, I fear I have lost all there is
Can't wake up to another rainy day
I fear the new romance brought by May
The needle pierces with a stinging kiss
I lost the short life I had lived today
The snow of winter quickley melts away
The rich scent falls thick in the dampened mist
Can't wake up to another rainy day
The tired children return to play
Singing in their own unkowing bliss
I lost the short life I had lived today
Sifting through the ashes of my own doom's day
Waiting for all the times that I had missed
Can't wake up to another rainy day
The sky charcoaled both black and gray
This place shrouds everything I know life is
I lost the short life I had lived today
Can't wake up to another rainy day
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Ooo this was a fun poem when I wrote it a long time ago.
The form is a Villanelle. A 19-line poem of fixed form consisting of five tercets and a final quatrain on two rhymes, with the first and third lines of the first tercet repeated alternately as a refrain closing the succeeding stanzas and joined as the final couplet of the quatrain.
Anyways I know a lot of peeps don't like contrictions like that but it's fun to work within the lines. It is my beleif that creativity shines brighter through contrictions. I dunno thats just me. Tell me what you think.
Heres one of my favirote poems not by me also
:Fire and Ice:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost
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So it's the 20'th now but I don't feel like taking down my poem because I have yet to hear anyone critique it. All the complements I appreciate very much this is a poem that is close to me and to see that some of you liked it makes me feel good. But I can't improve unless I get good criticism. Now make with the critique
:Sweet May:
I lost the short life I had lived today
In love, I fear I have lost all there is
Can't wake up to another rainy day
I fear the new romance brought by May
The needle pierces with a stinging kiss
I lost the short life I had lived today
The snow of winter quickley melts away
The rich scent falls thick in the dampened mist
Can't wake up to another rainy day
The tired children return to play
Singing in their own unkowing bliss
I lost the short life I had lived today
Sifting through the ashes of my own doom's day
Waiting for all the times that I had missed
Can't wake up to another rainy day
The sky charcoaled both black and gray
This place shrouds everything I know life is
I lost the short life I had lived today
Can't wake up to another rainy day
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ooo this was a fun poem when I wrote it a long time ago.
The form is a Villanelle. A 19-line poem of fixed form consisting of five tercets and a final quatrain on two rhymes, with the first and third lines of the first tercet repeated alternately as a refrain closing the succeeding stanzas and joined as the final couplet of the quatrain.
Anyways I know a lot of peeps don't like contrictions like that but it's fun to work within the lines. It is my beleif that creativity shines brighter through contrictions. I dunno thats just me. Tell me what you think.
Heres one of my favirote poems not by me also
:Fire and Ice:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost
------------------------------------------------------------------
So it's the 20'th now but I don't feel like taking down my poem because I have yet to hear anyone critique it. All the complements I appreciate very much this is a poem that is close to me and to see that some of you liked it makes me feel good. But I can't improve unless I get good criticism. Now make with the critique
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
[Edited on Aug 21, 2003]