Yes, the Charlie Brown yell. I just want to vent, nothing else.
So I went Tue with my Mom to the hospital for her scannings. To see how her cancer is progressing or hopefully regressing. So I call her last night and she got all kinds of horrible news. It's spreading. She's got some in her kidnye and more spots in different pars of her body, the one on top of her head has grown 5 times its previous size. It's distressing news. So yesterday, they took her off her other chemo and now are trying a more aggressive chemo treatment with some different drugs.
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But I am a horribly positive person. I am always trying to flip a situation to show the positive side of a thing. And if I can't do that, then I'll distract you and try to make you laugh. So within 5 minutes of talking I got my mom talking about something completely different and laughing. It's one thing I am very proud of in my life. If I can make you laugh or brighten your day even a bit then my life feels complete. It's silly, but it's what feeds me. So making my mom laugh and enjoy a conversation when all she wanted to do was cry. It felt so damn good. I can't cure her or make her better physically. I think if I can make some of her days enjoyable then that will be a good thing. Shit, I know this is going to get more difficult and I'm not looking forward to that.
