@Rambo & @Missy My first kiss also involves the first time anyone masturbated in front of me. Sadly the whole thing devolved into something horrible.
I was 19 at the time. Yes 19. And i had never kissed anyone to this point. One of my best friends at the time called me up one day and wanted to come over and hang out. Yah, sure, why not. She comes over late that evening with a 6 pack of beer. "You want one?"
"No. You know i don't drink." I was on my second year of purge. I had done so much drugs and drank an insane amount that after my last hit of Acid i decided to do no drugs of any kind for 2 years just to give myself a chance to deal with all my problems without the influence of any drug, even soda or coffee.
"Do you mind?" She says.
I shrug. She then proceeds to drink the entire 6 pack in less than half an hour. She finishes her last one and looks at me and says. "Can i kiss you?"
I just stare at her and say nothing. And I'm thinking to myself, what do you mean kiss? She says. "You know, you've never kissed anyone and don't you want to be able to kiss someone properly? I mean you can train on me so at least you don't look stupid when you eventually kiss some one. It's just a kiss." She was actually slurring her words and had a far off look in her eyes.
"Fine." I say, I do need the experience. What harm to come of this. "But we stay just friends, and we do nothing else. Just kiss." I say this because I'm starting to figure there is something more going on here. Why did she need to drink a 6 pack? Yes, i was very naive. Even though she was well and drunk she did teach me some important shit and it was just how you would picture it if you were taking a class. No. Not like that. Less tongue, okay now more tongue. Stop slobbering so much. Jesus, i thought i was going to be graded or something. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for her beer mouth. It wasn't a pleasant taste. After half an hour of this i feel her hand rubbing my crotch and she looks at me and says, "We should have sex."
"I already told you just kissing, nothing else." Yes. I know most people would just have sex at this point. But my friend was mentally fucked up. She used sex as a form of acceptance. And i knew this would fuck up our friendship. I was happy the way things were, i didn't want to fuck up this friendship. She had been raped twice in the last year and got pregnant from one that i had to loan cash to her for an abortion. She was fragile and drunk and i didn't want to go into that territory. I didn't want to take advantage of someone in this condition. Also, i was a VIRGIN. And this is not how i pictured it, but don't get me wrong, i had a full on erection killing my jeans. She was very pretty and sexy, the situation was just not right.
She goes on to try and convince me to have sex with her and i keep saying no, it's not going to happen, we already agreed to only kissing. Then she says what i have only heard through rumor of guys saying to girls. " Well, you know how guys get blue balls. Well girls get it too."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"No. Seriously. I have something like blue balls. I have to have an orgasm. I have to relieve my self."
"What?"
"We have to have sex."
"No we don't."
"Well then, I have to masterbate. I have to." I'm staring at her like, your fucking kidding me. And blue balls, really? What am i in Bizarro world here. But she's already got her clothes off and is masturbating in the middle of my bed. It's one of those instances in your life where you feel like your in a movie and your not sure exactly what you are supposed to do or say. In a way you wish it was a movie so you can say, "Line!" and then someone feeds you something witty or profound.
Okay, so back to the masterbating woman in my bed. So now she starts moaning and it's gradually getting louder. Then i hear my mom open her bedroom door down the hall. Oh yes, i forgot to mention, i was still living at my parents house. I can hear my mom walking down the hall. And i have my finger to my mouth and I'm saying, "Shhhh, Shhh, SHHHHH."
She's in her own world at this point. So then, this is going to sound silly, i put my hand over her mouth to quiet her. She's licking my hand and I'm like what the fuck. And she's trying to grab my other hand to bring to her crotch. And I'm like freaking out. And I'm still trying to shush her and I'm fighting her to keep my hand on her mouth to keep the moaning down. Then i hear my moms retreating footsteps. And i relax and she orgasms.
Weeks go by after this. And we had not talked and i could not get a hold of her by phone. I'm at a Punk/Goth/Industrial club with some friends of mine and i see her across the dance floor with some guy. I go to say hi to her and she ignores me and looks angrily at me. She refuses to talk to me. I'm like, what the fuck? Whatever, and I go do my own thing with my friends. Eventually i feel this hand tug on my jacket. It's her and she says, "Your a faggot!"
"What?!" All the while Ministry is blasting through the speakers.
"Your gay, It's the only thing that makes sense."
"Because i won't sleep with you?"
"Yes! Your a faggot!"
And then i said the only thing she was not expecting, "Look. You tell yourself whatever you need to make yourself feel better about this. I really don't care." I turned around and walked back to my friends. She could believe whatever the fuck she wants. I wasn't going to sit there and argue with someone spitting vile at me. So you see, it starts off as one thing and turn into something horrible.
