Acid Changed My Life. It really did. Leary believed, as well as many Psychologists, that LSD could be used in therapy sessions. They believed that the psychoactive properties of LSD could help patients confront actual mental problems.
Here's how it worked for me. Some background:
Growing up all the way through high school, i was a very depressed and suicidal youth. So what else is new, that describes just about everyone in high school. True. I wasn't much different than anyone else but when you are in that funk, you believe you are the only person going through this and that you are suffering worse than anyone else. It's a very selfish way to think. Why me, poor me...if you only opened your eyes for a second and looked around you, you would realise that other people are going through far worse things than you might ever see.
So in this funk, i move from Chicago to Mesa, AZ. One of the most deppressing places to live. The 100 degree temperatures are constantly beating you in the back of the head. So i go through three months of an Arizona summer when a friend of mine from Chicago shows up at my door. The two years prior to this, i was doing a shitload of drugs. Whatever i needed to kill the pain and cloud my mind so i wouldn't have to think. For the last three months in Arizona, dry. I knew my friend had drugs cause he would deal occasionally. The only thing was that i could not come right out and ask him, i had to let him be the one to bring it up. That was the kind of relationship we had.
So one day, I'm in my room, drawing some pictures when my twin brother walks in. He has a strange expression on his face.
"Dude. There's dragons and orcs out there man. And I've got my sword and I'm fucking killing them. And I'm killing them!" A fake sword fight is going on in my room and he's swinging away at nothing in particular.
"You have to come out there and see it man. They're in the pool. Dude. You have to."
I'm just thinking, how do i get him out of my room.
"Dude. Why don't you go out there and take care of those dragons. Okay?"
As soon as he leaves my friend walks in, "Dude."
I say to him, "Dude, what's going on? What was that all about."
"That dude? That was acid. Did you want a hit?"
Did i want a hit? I smile. He hands over a little white pill with a tiny cross on it. Speed.
"They put the hit on that dude. Why don't you join us outside?"
"No thanks dude, i don't want anyone fucking up my trip."
"Whatever dude."
We said dude all the time back then and no, my brother was not running around the house killing the rest of my family thinking they were dragons. Not that i checked at that momment.
So i close and lock my door. It's very important, that when you take acid, that you are in the right frame of mind. Do not take this shit if your depressed or pissed off. Just don't. It wasn't my first time taking this shit so i knew some of what to expect. It takes a while for this shit to actually hit you. The speed hits me right away. So, I'm sitting there waiting, and speed is making me think at a million miles an hour. And right before it hits me I'm thinking about why i get depressed and bam! That's what i think about and dissect for the next twelve hours.
I examined all the reasons behind my depression. I bring in to this conversation, going on in my head, all the medical articles i read trying to understand what the fuck was going on. I am thinking about this enzyme 'Monoamine Oxidase', does it control me or can i control it. I have no clue, nobody really does, so i abandon that and begin another path. Depression involves circular thinking. Your thoughts travel down the same path till they come back and travel down again. Over and over, you can't think your way out of it. It's just like those friends you have that keep dating the same asshole and keep making the same mistakes. Those are circular behaviour patterns. Everyone else can see whats going on and what needs to be done except that person themselves. They have to see it. It can't be pointed out. I realised that i needed to force myself into these circular patterns and confront what was there. Here's where the strange part comes in, i am on this drug while i am tripping and now i know that i must quit all drugs. These drugs are my crutch and they are not letting me examine whats really at the root of my depression. So i quit every drug for at least a year. Even coffee and soda. Anything that could chemically alter my brain in any way. I dive deep into these circular thought patterns and dissect every deep depression that comes my way and after a year i had completely tackled all my circular thoughts and worked my way out from each one, piece by piece. I was seventeen at the time and i have not been depressed, or suicidal or even sad since then. 23yrs of being happy and enjoying everything around me. So yes, acid will alter your brain, mine was a good alteration.
Here's how it worked for me. Some background:
Growing up all the way through high school, i was a very depressed and suicidal youth. So what else is new, that describes just about everyone in high school. True. I wasn't much different than anyone else but when you are in that funk, you believe you are the only person going through this and that you are suffering worse than anyone else. It's a very selfish way to think. Why me, poor me...if you only opened your eyes for a second and looked around you, you would realise that other people are going through far worse things than you might ever see.
So in this funk, i move from Chicago to Mesa, AZ. One of the most deppressing places to live. The 100 degree temperatures are constantly beating you in the back of the head. So i go through three months of an Arizona summer when a friend of mine from Chicago shows up at my door. The two years prior to this, i was doing a shitload of drugs. Whatever i needed to kill the pain and cloud my mind so i wouldn't have to think. For the last three months in Arizona, dry. I knew my friend had drugs cause he would deal occasionally. The only thing was that i could not come right out and ask him, i had to let him be the one to bring it up. That was the kind of relationship we had.
So one day, I'm in my room, drawing some pictures when my twin brother walks in. He has a strange expression on his face.
"Dude. There's dragons and orcs out there man. And I've got my sword and I'm fucking killing them. And I'm killing them!" A fake sword fight is going on in my room and he's swinging away at nothing in particular.
"You have to come out there and see it man. They're in the pool. Dude. You have to."
I'm just thinking, how do i get him out of my room.
"Dude. Why don't you go out there and take care of those dragons. Okay?"
As soon as he leaves my friend walks in, "Dude."
I say to him, "Dude, what's going on? What was that all about."
"That dude? That was acid. Did you want a hit?"
Did i want a hit? I smile. He hands over a little white pill with a tiny cross on it. Speed.
"They put the hit on that dude. Why don't you join us outside?"
"No thanks dude, i don't want anyone fucking up my trip."
"Whatever dude."
We said dude all the time back then and no, my brother was not running around the house killing the rest of my family thinking they were dragons. Not that i checked at that momment.
So i close and lock my door. It's very important, that when you take acid, that you are in the right frame of mind. Do not take this shit if your depressed or pissed off. Just don't. It wasn't my first time taking this shit so i knew some of what to expect. It takes a while for this shit to actually hit you. The speed hits me right away. So, I'm sitting there waiting, and speed is making me think at a million miles an hour. And right before it hits me I'm thinking about why i get depressed and bam! That's what i think about and dissect for the next twelve hours.
I examined all the reasons behind my depression. I bring in to this conversation, going on in my head, all the medical articles i read trying to understand what the fuck was going on. I am thinking about this enzyme 'Monoamine Oxidase', does it control me or can i control it. I have no clue, nobody really does, so i abandon that and begin another path. Depression involves circular thinking. Your thoughts travel down the same path till they come back and travel down again. Over and over, you can't think your way out of it. It's just like those friends you have that keep dating the same asshole and keep making the same mistakes. Those are circular behaviour patterns. Everyone else can see whats going on and what needs to be done except that person themselves. They have to see it. It can't be pointed out. I realised that i needed to force myself into these circular patterns and confront what was there. Here's where the strange part comes in, i am on this drug while i am tripping and now i know that i must quit all drugs. These drugs are my crutch and they are not letting me examine whats really at the root of my depression. So i quit every drug for at least a year. Even coffee and soda. Anything that could chemically alter my brain in any way. I dive deep into these circular thought patterns and dissect every deep depression that comes my way and after a year i had completely tackled all my circular thoughts and worked my way out from each one, piece by piece. I was seventeen at the time and i have not been depressed, or suicidal or even sad since then. 23yrs of being happy and enjoying everything around me. So yes, acid will alter your brain, mine was a good alteration.
You are right about my kitty she's an Abyssinian one. I read that neutering could change their personality, but mostly in a good way by making them more playful and friendly, but as Kiki is super playful already would be hard to make it more intense.