rude_ruca

It's quite amazing that it took the cell phone a decade to evovle from it's five pound cinderblock shape to the new and improved flip/camera/movie making phone that it is now, while it's taken the i-Pod a mere two years to transform from it's already modest size into the new "nano".....

...So, I've been dating a Homosexual. "Wait," you say, "did I just read her right?" Yes, my freinds, you have. What I thougt had been 'dates' for the last two weeks (a series of night time meetings at a local coffee shop that is open 24 hours a day, and a place where new lovers go to swoon and make plans), was actually a warming up, really. This was a platform for my new 'potential', or so I thought, to weasel his way toward decpetion. Make himself more comfortable with me, I suppose. Now, as I have professed before, there is nothing wrong with being gay. AT ALL. However, do not approach me as if we are dating only to tell me you have boyfreinds. Ok, so, how could the wool have been pulled over my eyes, right? Well, this young man had a fiance once. Yes, a female. She was even forgein (plug in ooo's and ahh's for effect and taste ). In fact, this hungarian lover of his was his last relationship. Either way, though, last night he felt the need to tell me about his former lovers, as well as his wanting to move back into that life style. Well, I am just fucking lucky, huh? Now, I am attracting gay men! Why does God insist in taunting me in such ways? "Here you go, sweet lil Ruca...Oh, wait, no, never mind, not for you, he likes the same male reproductive oragn you do. Tee hee, opps, must've slipped my mind when I allowed you two to meet!"
OK, ok, so I shouldn't blame anyone on my slight relationship vision loss. But dammit, I just keep stirkin' out. I mean, this guy is SO SO SO attractive (6'6, well built [hehe, for speed indeed!], beautiful blue eyes, in fact, blue eyes that are multi tonal, deeper as I moved inward, cooler towards the whites of his eyes...). Ugh! So Obviously, I've studied this creature in depth. But what else can you do at 2:30 in the morning when you are having feverish conversations that range from global politics to bondage and orgasms? Yes, we had those conversations. We talked for hours on end. Exchanged some embraces. His phone calls set a smile smeared from ear to ear across my face. His soft hands against my early autumn, chilled skin were just right...

We never kissed, and perhaps that was for the better. In a lot of ways. It's funny, becasue twice just this week, both my boss and best freind told me I had a knack for reading people. Fine, in business situations, but why do I keep allowing infatuation to blind my hindsight right into the arms of heartache? I am going to be candid here for a moment (as if I haven't been already, right?). I am tired of being lonely. I have been in love three times in my ripe young age of early adulthood, and I crave it more now than ever, again. I know, I know, when you stop looking, love stumbles upon your heart like a lost puppy. So sweet and so innocent, you can't turn it away. You want to take it home and nourish it and make sure it's healthy. You want to come back home everyday, just to see how jubilantly it welcomes you back to your domain.

I am sure the grass is always greener, but it's starting to yellow on my side of the fence. I really good use a change of scenery....