Today was filled with a certain beauty that seems to have been unatainable for years...
...Perhaps it was the hike and the luck mother nature bestowed upon us with her lush, ocean-esque clouds, breezes softer than sateen sheets, and a sky the most brilliant hues of cerulean one has ever seen. Maybe it was the way the air danced across my sweat trickled shoulders. Or, perhaps it was the closure and promise of a new begining discussed at dinner.
My parents and I have not necessarily had the most rewarding relationship, but we certainly tried our best. I think one of the coolest things my mother ever told me was that she would never have given our arguments up for all of the riches in the world. She believes that the fact that we were brought up to voice our opinion, no matter how fiercly it was communicated, was one of the healthiest approches. Some may beg to differ and argue that our approach was not the most civilized, but I can proudly tell all of you that my parents are still together to this day after a bumpy 26 years. And, I for one would rather have a 24 hour case of bruised ego than the last 22 years of commuting between households.
the relationship between my father and myself has seemed to be even more of a mystery to everyone involved and even those on the outside. Some of the things that we have said to each other, well, let's jut say, I am sure that my grandparents, on BOTH sides, have done complete 360's in their graves. There have been many years of hurt, on both ends; dissapointment, lack of respect. But tonight, my father told me that he was pained the other day when realizing that my brother and I would not be going to South Carolina with them next year when he retires and he and my mother move. He said that even though he spent countless springs and summers coaching my brothers little league, or going to my field hockey games, he worries that he's not done enough. For years i wondered the same thing, even accused him of not doing so. And, for years, he denied that was the case. However, when he told me this, I thought about how much I loved him, and was going to just miss him not being there.
As a family, we have made it a tradition to at least have family dinners together on Sunday. Over the last seven years, the household has become increasingly busy and we would have probably been better off installing a revolving door. This sunday, though, seemed to be so important to him. I believe it was to tell us just that. that he will miss us. that he loves us. I am going to truly miss his dinners, his corny, red neck jokes. I am going to miss the way that when people meet him and look at me tell me that I am my fathers child. I am going to miss watching the yankees together, and even the PGA tour.
This is such a sappy entry, I know. Really, I just want to look at it for a while to remind myself to make the best of these next few months, whether or not I move out before they leave the state or not. I want to take advantage of the time we have together. I just want them to know that I appriciate their hard work and their commitment to being as good of parents as they could be. And that, to me, is enough.
...Perhaps it was the hike and the luck mother nature bestowed upon us with her lush, ocean-esque clouds, breezes softer than sateen sheets, and a sky the most brilliant hues of cerulean one has ever seen. Maybe it was the way the air danced across my sweat trickled shoulders. Or, perhaps it was the closure and promise of a new begining discussed at dinner.
My parents and I have not necessarily had the most rewarding relationship, but we certainly tried our best. I think one of the coolest things my mother ever told me was that she would never have given our arguments up for all of the riches in the world. She believes that the fact that we were brought up to voice our opinion, no matter how fiercly it was communicated, was one of the healthiest approches. Some may beg to differ and argue that our approach was not the most civilized, but I can proudly tell all of you that my parents are still together to this day after a bumpy 26 years. And, I for one would rather have a 24 hour case of bruised ego than the last 22 years of commuting between households.
the relationship between my father and myself has seemed to be even more of a mystery to everyone involved and even those on the outside. Some of the things that we have said to each other, well, let's jut say, I am sure that my grandparents, on BOTH sides, have done complete 360's in their graves. There have been many years of hurt, on both ends; dissapointment, lack of respect. But tonight, my father told me that he was pained the other day when realizing that my brother and I would not be going to South Carolina with them next year when he retires and he and my mother move. He said that even though he spent countless springs and summers coaching my brothers little league, or going to my field hockey games, he worries that he's not done enough. For years i wondered the same thing, even accused him of not doing so. And, for years, he denied that was the case. However, when he told me this, I thought about how much I loved him, and was going to just miss him not being there.
As a family, we have made it a tradition to at least have family dinners together on Sunday. Over the last seven years, the household has become increasingly busy and we would have probably been better off installing a revolving door. This sunday, though, seemed to be so important to him. I believe it was to tell us just that. that he will miss us. that he loves us. I am going to truly miss his dinners, his corny, red neck jokes. I am going to miss the way that when people meet him and look at me tell me that I am my fathers child. I am going to miss watching the yankees together, and even the PGA tour.
This is such a sappy entry, I know. Really, I just want to look at it for a while to remind myself to make the best of these next few months, whether or not I move out before they leave the state or not. I want to take advantage of the time we have together. I just want them to know that I appriciate their hard work and their commitment to being as good of parents as they could be. And that, to me, is enough.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
im stupid and cant remember what number is your in my "recent" calls list...so just call me later......you know you want toooooooo.
werd.