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rude_ruca

Member Since 2004

Followers 11 Following 22

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Wednesday Jun 08, 2005

Jun 8, 2005
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Youd never realize just how many files your computer holds until you watch an ad-ware scan. Its about as enticing and titillating as watching a fresh coat of paint dry on the wall. Man, these software companies are raking in the thousands, upon millions, at our little peon expense

Ive decided that I can also get around littering laws when assaulting other cars for misbehaving on the road. Oh, wait, I suppose I forgot to tell you, Im on a mission. It occured to me today, while I was being tailgated by some soccer mom out for blood in her mini van, that people, especially on the roads including, but not limited to I-270 (which really shouldnt be an interstate, I mean, jesus, it only runs from frederick, MARYLAND to bethesda MARYLAND!), I-495 and I-95, heading north OR south, it doesnt matter, they are all lunatics alike. I initially thought, "Well, isn't this glass bottle looking like a great self defense mechanism?". But, alas, I though better of it, with the small childeren in the other car, at least one of the two of us had to take them into consideration.

While Id really like to be throwing grenades at these primates behind the wheels of these one ton plus killing machines, it will inevitably affect the environment, as well as the increasing number of children being neglected in their VERY own family vehicles! Then there is also the sad fact that I am not coordinated in any sense of the word and would probably blow my own arm off before successfully placing the target. I have rightfully earned the title Gracie at work, for my lack of, well, grace.

So, heres the plan. I am going to keep a healthy stash, and no pun intended, of banana peels strapped snuggly in my passenger seat. Yes, thats right. I am going to start pelting the ass holes cars who are infuriating me on the road with the remains of this delectable fruit. I mean, after all, if your Benz doesnt mean enough to you that you could just ram it into my vehicle, JUST to make sure you are the first one in the hour long line of traffic at 5 pm, then what is a little banana residue on the windshield? What would make this even better (and I would save it for the super hot, humid days that us Marylanders are quite accustomed to) is to freeze them over night in a vat of chocolate pudding. Oh man! Then, when I get pulled over, I can sweetly look up at the Officer and reply, But officer, at least its biodegradable!
mad biggrin blush
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
mrgoose:
What happened to ya saturday night? We all were waitin around for you. We'll just have to do it again sometime in the near future.
Jun 14, 2005
memyselfandi:
Have you seen the Coke Zero commercial with G. Love & Special Sauce? It's pretty cool, but it's getting a lot of airtime.

I have been so busy that I haven't bought much music lately. How about you?
Jun 27, 2005

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