Appologies for the forthcoming, but it IS due.....
...So, the last several weeks have been sort of a mining through and blasting out of stale parts in the friend arena. I have managed to figure out who is tried and true and have come up with the sad fact that I have about four freinds in the general vicinity that is the D.C./metropolitan area. Two of which are moving come July's dawn. The rest have fallen by the wayside, and that by their own doing. It is a sad, lonely feeling, being in this place, but alas, sometimes we have to feel this. And I do mean really FEEL this. I think I've tried to numb out certain situations and heartaches for the past couple of years via injections of casual sex and relationships of any nature based on superficiality. But when you tear away the many layers, peel back each sheet of skin, you get back to that rawness, and it reminds you that you can burn. That you should burn, becasue you are human. You are not a mere spirit trapsing the earth, you have flesh, and blood and nerves. Use them, because, one day, when you are gone, no one else will have them at their disposal. I beleive people should take the good with the bad. Life cannot always be a cake walk, and certainly hasn't been that way for me, I've just tried to disillusion myself with anything and everything, so I'd never have to just stare those blasts to my person in the ugly face.
There has been a certain sense of relief. Like that feeling of finally gettting a good night's sleep after countless nights of insomina. But even still...there is this sense of longing for, SOMEthing. There is some kind of void that needs to be filled. But thank god I don't have an addictive personality. I pray for those who do. I think I may have lucked out a little in that sense. While the portion of my heart reserved for love has hardened over, at least my liver and kidney's are intact, right? I can still shit and piss, and breathe, too. I forgot, I'm not a chain smoker. Good news, then. This is all really a mental game we play with ourselves, this lonliness and longing for another person. I just think my vibrator needs a little more attention, that's all
By the way, the guy from last week, yeah, he never called
...So, the last several weeks have been sort of a mining through and blasting out of stale parts in the friend arena. I have managed to figure out who is tried and true and have come up with the sad fact that I have about four freinds in the general vicinity that is the D.C./metropolitan area. Two of which are moving come July's dawn. The rest have fallen by the wayside, and that by their own doing. It is a sad, lonely feeling, being in this place, but alas, sometimes we have to feel this. And I do mean really FEEL this. I think I've tried to numb out certain situations and heartaches for the past couple of years via injections of casual sex and relationships of any nature based on superficiality. But when you tear away the many layers, peel back each sheet of skin, you get back to that rawness, and it reminds you that you can burn. That you should burn, becasue you are human. You are not a mere spirit trapsing the earth, you have flesh, and blood and nerves. Use them, because, one day, when you are gone, no one else will have them at their disposal. I beleive people should take the good with the bad. Life cannot always be a cake walk, and certainly hasn't been that way for me, I've just tried to disillusion myself with anything and everything, so I'd never have to just stare those blasts to my person in the ugly face.
There has been a certain sense of relief. Like that feeling of finally gettting a good night's sleep after countless nights of insomina. But even still...there is this sense of longing for, SOMEthing. There is some kind of void that needs to be filled. But thank god I don't have an addictive personality. I pray for those who do. I think I may have lucked out a little in that sense. While the portion of my heart reserved for love has hardened over, at least my liver and kidney's are intact, right? I can still shit and piss, and breathe, too. I forgot, I'm not a chain smoker. Good news, then. This is all really a mental game we play with ourselves, this lonliness and longing for another person. I just think my vibrator needs a little more attention, that's all
By the way, the guy from last week, yeah, he never called
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
mrgoose:
KikiBH always gets the pictures in her journal updates, she never lets me use any. I promise to post some from N.O. very soon.
laceyglove:
Hey, are you going to go to Mousetrap this Saturday. You better because kikibh and i are going and we'd love to dance with you! 