Are you fucking kidding me!?!?!?!? 
...So, the early evening, about four-ish, started as usual- me stopping for a quick shot of liquid cocaine, aka starbucks, and then the blast off to class. Well, there's nothing like a little get-pulled-over-by-an-ass-hole cop pre-gaming before a sociaology mid-term, now is there? It's funny too, 'cause I saw the ass hole out of the corner of my right eye as I rounded my first turn into the intersection, attempting to get over to my left lane. He jets out of the bank parking lot and zips up right behind me, and at this point I am thinking, oh shit, but no fucking way. I KNEW I could not have been going more than ten. Well, all of the "I am going to pull you over" warning signs began to appear as I watched through my rear view his unmoved stare at the rear of my car, and then his blabbing into his cruisers radio device. I am thinking at this point, no way is this ass hole REALLY going to do this? Why???
So, I take my left turn at the signal of the green light, I don't squeal off, or anything, I act like a human being. Then, in my rear, as I had predicted, blue and red are flashing, along with some bright white lights. I mean, this mother fucker was more decorated than a fucking christmas tree.
So, he saunters up to my car, and with no "good after noon ma'am", or even a fucking hello, he goes right into why he's pulling me over-"I am pulling you over today becasue you have an unlawfully modified exhaust". HUH!?!?!?! I have been driving the same car for OVER a year, er well about a year, now and have never even been given a verbal warning! My car has passed both VA AND MD inspections, and I have had cops behind my vehicle many a time in that time frame. I stated this to him, and he proceeds to tell me to take that info to court, and that I had better be IN court or pay the fine as "you have MANY FTA's which means you are flirting with suspension again..." HUH!!?!?! WTF is an "FTA's" and who about suspension? He then tells me like I am some idiot that FTA's are Failure to report's in court. Ok, fine. Oh, and that also, if caught I will be arrested, should it go as far to having a suspended license. Well no shit ass hole, obviouls you could see on my record that I have been pulled over on a suspended license twice. Don't you think I know what it results in? I mean FUCK!!!!
The thing that kills me here is I had NO idea what was coming to me. I mean, at the time of the MD inspection, I asked my mechanic if the exhaust was legal, as it seemed pretty large to me (at LEAST 4 in diameter). He said it was fine, and the only problem he could see was that it hung kinda low. Ok, well, back in the fall I was dating a mechanic (some of you may remember) who jimmy rigged the thing back into place for me. Sooooooo, my point IS, yes, this ticket would have been coming to me had I KNOWN I was doing something illegal, and proceeding to engage in it. BUT!!!!! I had NO idea.
The moral of this story? Well, shit, I dunno! I mean, most occurrances with driving violations, yeah, had 'em comin' to me, but this? Couldn't have seen it for miles....Basically folks, mechanics are like doctors- if it is serious, get a second opinion! Also, cops are ass holes, but I have a feeling this is NO revelation for most of the folk of this site.....
And now I present to you....
"Fuck Tha Police"-- NWA
Right about now NWA court is in full effect.
Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.
Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren Ice Cube and Eazy muthafuckin E.
Order order order. Ice Cube take the muthafuckin stand.
Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth
and nothin but the truth so help your black ass?
Why don't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?
Fuck tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority
Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one
For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics
You'd rather see me in the pen
Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
Beat tha police outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still can't swallow bread and water
I don't know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop
Ice Cube will swarm
On any muthafucka in a blue uniform
Just cuz I'm from the CPT, punk police are afraid of me
A young nigga on a warpath
And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath
Of cops, dyin in LA
Yo Dre, I got somethin to say
M. C. Ren, will you please give your testimony to the jury about this fucked up incident.>
Fuck tha police and Ren said it with authority
because the niggaz on the street is a majority.
A gang, is with whoever I'm stepping
and the motherfuckin' weapon
is kept in a stash box, for the so-called law
wishin' Ren was a nigga that they never saw
Lights start flashin behind me
But they're scared of a nigga so they mace me to blind me
But that shit don't work, I just laugh
Because it gives em a hint not to step in my path
To the police I'm sayin fuck you punk
Readin my rights and shit, it's all junk
Pullin out a silly club, so you stand
With a fake assed badge and a gun in your hand
But take off the gun so you can see what's up
And we'll go at it punk, I'ma fuck you up
Make ya think I'm a kick your ass
But drop your gat, and Ren's gonna blast
I'm sneaky as fuck when it comes to crime
But I'm a smoke em now, and not next time
Smoke any muthafucka that sweats me
Or any assho that threatens me
I'm a sniper with a hell of a scope
Takin out a cop or two, they can't cope with me
The muthafuckin villian that's mad
With potential to get bad as fuck
So I'm a turn it around
Put in my clip, yo, and this is the sound
Ya, somethin like that, but it all depends on the size of the gat
Takin out a police would make my day
But a nigga like Ren don't give a fuck to say
Fuck the police (4X)
Police, open now. We have a warrant for Eazy-E's arrest.
Get down and put your hands up where I can see em.
Just shut the fuck up and get your muthafuckin ass on the floor.
[huh?]>
and tell the jury how you feel abou this bullshit.>
I'm tired of the muthafuckin jackin
Sweatin my gang while I'm chillin in the shackin
Shining tha light in my face, and for what
Maybe it's because I kick so much butt
I kick ass, or maybe cuz I blast
On a stupid assed nigga when I'm playin with the trigga
Of any Uzi or an AK
Cuz the police always got somethin stupid to say
They put up my picture with silence
Cuz my identity by itself causes violence
The E with the criminal behavior
Yeah, I'm a gansta, but still I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?
A sucka in a uniform waitin to get shot,
By me, or another nigga.
and with a gat it don't matter if he's smarter or bigger
[MC Ren: Sidle him, kid, he's from the old school, fool]
And as you all know, E's here to rule
Whenever I'm rollin, keep lookin in the mirror
And there's no cue, yo, so I can hear a
Dumb muthafucka with a gun
And if I'm rollin off the 8, he'll be tha one
That I take out, and then get away
And while I'm drivin off laughin
This is what I'll say
Fuck the police (4X)
The jury has found you guilty of bein a redneck,
whitebread, chickenshit muthafucka.
Wait, that's a lie. That's a goddamn lie.
I want justice! I want justice!
Fuck you, you black muthafucka!>
Fuck the police (3X)
And to that, I wish all happy driking on St. Patty's Day....and if any cop hassles you about just how drunk you are, I challenge you to spew these lyrics in that mother fucker's face!
...So, the early evening, about four-ish, started as usual- me stopping for a quick shot of liquid cocaine, aka starbucks, and then the blast off to class. Well, there's nothing like a little get-pulled-over-by-an-ass-hole cop pre-gaming before a sociaology mid-term, now is there? It's funny too, 'cause I saw the ass hole out of the corner of my right eye as I rounded my first turn into the intersection, attempting to get over to my left lane. He jets out of the bank parking lot and zips up right behind me, and at this point I am thinking, oh shit, but no fucking way. I KNEW I could not have been going more than ten. Well, all of the "I am going to pull you over" warning signs began to appear as I watched through my rear view his unmoved stare at the rear of my car, and then his blabbing into his cruisers radio device. I am thinking at this point, no way is this ass hole REALLY going to do this? Why???
So, I take my left turn at the signal of the green light, I don't squeal off, or anything, I act like a human being. Then, in my rear, as I had predicted, blue and red are flashing, along with some bright white lights. I mean, this mother fucker was more decorated than a fucking christmas tree.
So, he saunters up to my car, and with no "good after noon ma'am", or even a fucking hello, he goes right into why he's pulling me over-"I am pulling you over today becasue you have an unlawfully modified exhaust". HUH!?!?!?! I have been driving the same car for OVER a year, er well about a year, now and have never even been given a verbal warning! My car has passed both VA AND MD inspections, and I have had cops behind my vehicle many a time in that time frame. I stated this to him, and he proceeds to tell me to take that info to court, and that I had better be IN court or pay the fine as "you have MANY FTA's which means you are flirting with suspension again..." HUH!!?!?! WTF is an "FTA's" and who about suspension? He then tells me like I am some idiot that FTA's are Failure to report's in court. Ok, fine. Oh, and that also, if caught I will be arrested, should it go as far to having a suspended license. Well no shit ass hole, obviouls you could see on my record that I have been pulled over on a suspended license twice. Don't you think I know what it results in? I mean FUCK!!!!
The thing that kills me here is I had NO idea what was coming to me. I mean, at the time of the MD inspection, I asked my mechanic if the exhaust was legal, as it seemed pretty large to me (at LEAST 4 in diameter). He said it was fine, and the only problem he could see was that it hung kinda low. Ok, well, back in the fall I was dating a mechanic (some of you may remember) who jimmy rigged the thing back into place for me. Sooooooo, my point IS, yes, this ticket would have been coming to me had I KNOWN I was doing something illegal, and proceeding to engage in it. BUT!!!!! I had NO idea.
The moral of this story? Well, shit, I dunno! I mean, most occurrances with driving violations, yeah, had 'em comin' to me, but this? Couldn't have seen it for miles....Basically folks, mechanics are like doctors- if it is serious, get a second opinion! Also, cops are ass holes, but I have a feeling this is NO revelation for most of the folk of this site.....
And now I present to you....
"Fuck Tha Police"-- NWA
Right about now NWA court is in full effect.
Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.
Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren Ice Cube and Eazy muthafuckin E.
Order order order. Ice Cube take the muthafuckin stand.
Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth
and nothin but the truth so help your black ass?
Why don't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?
Fuck tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority
Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one
For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics
You'd rather see me in the pen
Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
Beat tha police outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still can't swallow bread and water
I don't know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop
Ice Cube will swarm
On any muthafucka in a blue uniform
Just cuz I'm from the CPT, punk police are afraid of me
A young nigga on a warpath
And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath
Of cops, dyin in LA
Yo Dre, I got somethin to say
M. C. Ren, will you please give your testimony to the jury about this fucked up incident.>
Fuck tha police and Ren said it with authority
because the niggaz on the street is a majority.
A gang, is with whoever I'm stepping
and the motherfuckin' weapon
is kept in a stash box, for the so-called law
wishin' Ren was a nigga that they never saw
Lights start flashin behind me
But they're scared of a nigga so they mace me to blind me
But that shit don't work, I just laugh
Because it gives em a hint not to step in my path
To the police I'm sayin fuck you punk
Readin my rights and shit, it's all junk
Pullin out a silly club, so you stand
With a fake assed badge and a gun in your hand
But take off the gun so you can see what's up
And we'll go at it punk, I'ma fuck you up
Make ya think I'm a kick your ass
But drop your gat, and Ren's gonna blast
I'm sneaky as fuck when it comes to crime
But I'm a smoke em now, and not next time
Smoke any muthafucka that sweats me
Or any assho that threatens me
I'm a sniper with a hell of a scope
Takin out a cop or two, they can't cope with me
The muthafuckin villian that's mad
With potential to get bad as fuck
So I'm a turn it around
Put in my clip, yo, and this is the sound
Ya, somethin like that, but it all depends on the size of the gat
Takin out a police would make my day
But a nigga like Ren don't give a fuck to say
Fuck the police (4X)
Police, open now. We have a warrant for Eazy-E's arrest.
Get down and put your hands up where I can see em.
Just shut the fuck up and get your muthafuckin ass on the floor.
[huh?]>
and tell the jury how you feel abou this bullshit.>
I'm tired of the muthafuckin jackin
Sweatin my gang while I'm chillin in the shackin
Shining tha light in my face, and for what
Maybe it's because I kick so much butt
I kick ass, or maybe cuz I blast
On a stupid assed nigga when I'm playin with the trigga
Of any Uzi or an AK
Cuz the police always got somethin stupid to say
They put up my picture with silence
Cuz my identity by itself causes violence
The E with the criminal behavior
Yeah, I'm a gansta, but still I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?
A sucka in a uniform waitin to get shot,
By me, or another nigga.
and with a gat it don't matter if he's smarter or bigger
[MC Ren: Sidle him, kid, he's from the old school, fool]
And as you all know, E's here to rule
Whenever I'm rollin, keep lookin in the mirror
And there's no cue, yo, so I can hear a
Dumb muthafucka with a gun
And if I'm rollin off the 8, he'll be tha one
That I take out, and then get away
And while I'm drivin off laughin
This is what I'll say
Fuck the police (4X)
The jury has found you guilty of bein a redneck,
whitebread, chickenshit muthafucka.
Wait, that's a lie. That's a goddamn lie.
I want justice! I want justice!
Fuck you, you black muthafucka!>
Fuck the police (3X)
And to that, I wish all happy driking on St. Patty's Day....and if any cop hassles you about just how drunk you are, I challenge you to spew these lyrics in that mother fucker's face!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
shivasshakti:
Blech - there's nothing worse than being pulled over. You should've tried that thing where you act like you're about to cry - it works every time! Better days are ahead - after all, it is St. Patty's Day!
Better days are ahead - after all, it is St. Patty's Day! 
empathy_girl:
Better watch out...lyrics like that will get Tipper Gore and the Parental Advisory people chasing after you too!