So I have been busy romancin'! 
The certain someone came over on Tuesday and we celebrated solstice by chilling out in Richmond Park, smoking his South African weed and getting through a bottle of wine... I am so unused to being intimate like that with someone, its like every time I see him I have to re-learn how to do it. So the evening begin with flirtations and coy glances, then to stroking hair and soft kisses on necks... cheeks... lips and then I was straddling him, pressed tight against him, the soltice sun just visible peeking behind the trees and nothing but silence and space and the humming of insects around us.
The next morning we didn't really feel like saying goodbye... so I went to his house and sat out in his garden and ate his favourite curry his Aunty-ji made for him, watched one of his documentaries.... still kind of didn't feel like saying goodbye so he came into town with me while I did my errands and then we sat outside Cafe 1001 off Brick Lane and had a beer in the sun. Then we finally said goodbye. And I promtly got into the wrong tube and went about 5 stops in the wonrg direction before I realised.
Its taking up a lot of energy telling myself over and over again how I'm not going to get involved with someone, not going to give my heart to anyone, not going to depend of anyone....part of me feels like he is so wrong for me. He is not my type in the slightest. I am always going on about hating categories in life... i.e tick the box, are you: Married? Single? Divorced? Seperated? Can you not experience intimacy with somebody without putting yourself into a box? But its hard. Its human tendency to hurl yourself at someone. It feels so natural to have skin against skin, the pleasure of smelling some one on your pillow, so unnatural to go from that to saying goodbye and tearing yourself away from someone and going back to saying 'I am single, I want to be single, I am independant, I need no one...'
Fucking hell, my life is never boring, I'll tell you that much.
Puppy is being very very naughty and mischievous and shat all over the floor today. Then when I tried to clean it she ripped the shitty tissue out of my hand and dragged it across the living room floor, spreading poo everywhere. It made me dry heave. If only she werent so friggin cute I would smack her.
The certain someone came over on Tuesday and we celebrated solstice by chilling out in Richmond Park, smoking his South African weed and getting through a bottle of wine... I am so unused to being intimate like that with someone, its like every time I see him I have to re-learn how to do it. So the evening begin with flirtations and coy glances, then to stroking hair and soft kisses on necks... cheeks... lips and then I was straddling him, pressed tight against him, the soltice sun just visible peeking behind the trees and nothing but silence and space and the humming of insects around us.
The next morning we didn't really feel like saying goodbye... so I went to his house and sat out in his garden and ate his favourite curry his Aunty-ji made for him, watched one of his documentaries.... still kind of didn't feel like saying goodbye so he came into town with me while I did my errands and then we sat outside Cafe 1001 off Brick Lane and had a beer in the sun. Then we finally said goodbye. And I promtly got into the wrong tube and went about 5 stops in the wonrg direction before I realised.
Its taking up a lot of energy telling myself over and over again how I'm not going to get involved with someone, not going to give my heart to anyone, not going to depend of anyone....part of me feels like he is so wrong for me. He is not my type in the slightest. I am always going on about hating categories in life... i.e tick the box, are you: Married? Single? Divorced? Seperated? Can you not experience intimacy with somebody without putting yourself into a box? But its hard. Its human tendency to hurl yourself at someone. It feels so natural to have skin against skin, the pleasure of smelling some one on your pillow, so unnatural to go from that to saying goodbye and tearing yourself away from someone and going back to saying 'I am single, I want to be single, I am independant, I need no one...'
Fucking hell, my life is never boring, I'll tell you that much.
Puppy is being very very naughty and mischievous and shat all over the floor today. Then when I tried to clean it she ripped the shitty tissue out of my hand and dragged it across the living room floor, spreading poo everywhere. It made me dry heave. If only she werent so friggin cute I would smack her.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I would say that if you dont want to be with some one than dont, but dont let that stop you from having a good time if you like being with him then dont give him up as long as he understands what you want.
Have a great weekend.