Never fuck where you live (its that whole dont shit where you eat thing), yes I did and when in a small town its just stupid. I decided to go slumming that is what I am calling it from now on unless its beyond phenomenal (what I will call it when its that Ill have to figure out). So this isnt going up, until I do one last meeting with said guy and get my undies back (yes I stupidly left them and now have to get them). My whole sexual life has been spent slumming, which isnt a bad thing exactly. I honestly think Im be royally screwed if I got to sleep with what I want, all the power and contempt would be in someone elses hands, it would be karma for it to happen, so I am very careful for it not to. If it did happen to happen down the road I take solace in that (hopefully) it will at least be inspiring. Sorry not really inspiring for the smut I write for here, but for the real stuff I write, and for the short time itd last the person would be eye candy.
One really good thing I can say about this blog is it has helped me find and speak up for myself sexually (somewhat, more so then before) and from now on Im bring a vibe to the games whenever, with whoever. No dating, cant stress that enough, that is mostly what is ending this new experiment, I just want to show up, have sex, and go home. I dont want to go out and do things. I dont want to be a girlfriend, or a pseudo girlfriend or really even a friend for that matter, Im so tired of faking interest. No more kissing also, unless the guy actually knows how to kiss and not just slobber over my lips and chin besides Im not really into tongue, into biting the lower lip (Im a biter), also when I say I dont like something, and someone persist in doing just that, I am just giving in and resenting. Doesnt mean you are the magical person that showed me the light.
Now dont get me wrong, I dont think I am above anyone or better, quite the opposite. I just think honestly we all need to come clean (me included) if we are sleeping together (especially if its right when meeting) I am just a hole for you and you are just a passing entertainment for me, nothing wrong with that, and in that light no one is really getting used. The only thing is its all done with my rules and on my time you are my booty call, not the other way around. We will have sex only when I want to. With that said I do believe Im just going to leave the undies as a lesson to not leave anything, and not go back and get them Im going to try from now on to be honest and not mislead, sex is just that, and for me with someone it will probably just last a few moments, its nothing personal towards those I sleep with, I mean Im sure they are really great guys/girls once you get to know them, I just dont want to know or be known. So now I am on the prowl again, and am going to seek outside the town I am in.
One really good thing I can say about this blog is it has helped me find and speak up for myself sexually (somewhat, more so then before) and from now on Im bring a vibe to the games whenever, with whoever. No dating, cant stress that enough, that is mostly what is ending this new experiment, I just want to show up, have sex, and go home. I dont want to go out and do things. I dont want to be a girlfriend, or a pseudo girlfriend or really even a friend for that matter, Im so tired of faking interest. No more kissing also, unless the guy actually knows how to kiss and not just slobber over my lips and chin besides Im not really into tongue, into biting the lower lip (Im a biter), also when I say I dont like something, and someone persist in doing just that, I am just giving in and resenting. Doesnt mean you are the magical person that showed me the light.
Now dont get me wrong, I dont think I am above anyone or better, quite the opposite. I just think honestly we all need to come clean (me included) if we are sleeping together (especially if its right when meeting) I am just a hole for you and you are just a passing entertainment for me, nothing wrong with that, and in that light no one is really getting used. The only thing is its all done with my rules and on my time you are my booty call, not the other way around. We will have sex only when I want to. With that said I do believe Im just going to leave the undies as a lesson to not leave anything, and not go back and get them Im going to try from now on to be honest and not mislead, sex is just that, and for me with someone it will probably just last a few moments, its nothing personal towards those I sleep with, I mean Im sure they are really great guys/girls once you get to know them, I just dont want to know or be known. So now I am on the prowl again, and am going to seek outside the town I am in.