roxymoron

A vent...sorry you had to listen...

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Background: Just started seeing new boy a few weeks ago. It was fabulous. It was easy. It also turns out that he met someone else at the time as me. And it turns out that I don't casually date anymore and don't like to share. He couldn't seem to make a decision...he likes her drama, her emotional unavailabiliy. I think he likes the fact that he can try and "fix" her. That he has to convince her to be with him. She is dragging him along in the mud. He likes to be muddy I think.

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Sent to my boy today:

You know what...fine. I don't know how we went from you kneeling down as soon as you step foot in my door and taking me in your arms 2 weeks ago to this. How we went from us discussing just about everything in the world and reading out load to each other and crying over your great uncle's album...to you not being able to give me more than this in response to me pouring my thoughts out to you. Were you trying to push me away to make it easier for you? It feels like it. I thought what we had was brilliant...and lovely...and easy to figure out. I never second-guessed it. I THOUGHT you were brave with me....brave enough to tell me at least what was going on.

I have never done the relationship drama thing...and I don't want to start now. I hope you get all you want in your relationship with her. I hope you can be brave with her and that you really want her and that she really wants you. I hope you get everything you want in general in life.

It kills me to say this but just let me know what your address is and I will send your stuff to you.

Really, take care.

All my love...for what it is worth,
Roxy

...if you ever feel like you REALLY need me and want me, let me know.