I don't even know who I am anymore.
I try to be a good person for those around me and I have actually got quite a few people fooled...because eventually I'll do something to hurt those who have done nothing but love me...and for what reason? I don't have any good reasons for it other than I am not a good person. I just can't believe that I fooled him for so long. Almost 10 years and he is finally starting to see the joke that is Christie. I'm not special. I'm fucking horrible. I wouldn't be friends with me...can't really see how anyone else can either. I have fucked up every single relationship I ever had. I actually thought that this time things would be different. But it's true that people never truly change. I know I haven't.
I try to be a good person for those around me and I have actually got quite a few people fooled...because eventually I'll do something to hurt those who have done nothing but love me...and for what reason? I don't have any good reasons for it other than I am not a good person. I just can't believe that I fooled him for so long. Almost 10 years and he is finally starting to see the joke that is Christie. I'm not special. I'm fucking horrible. I wouldn't be friends with me...can't really see how anyone else can either. I have fucked up every single relationship I ever had. I actually thought that this time things would be different. But it's true that people never truly change. I know I haven't.

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I doupt my character sometimes too. I hope everything turns out well.