roxiekill

i need to learn to stop acting out on self destructive behavior.

i hurt myself one more time. something i told myself i would never do again. after realizing that i just dont want anymore ugly scars.

i need to learn to stop stuffing my anger.

because when it finally comes out, it seems to end in blood, gauze, and trying to figure out how the fuck i went so deep.

and it gets deeper every time.

this time, i actually scared myself. and was afraid i was going to need stitches. but going to the hospital for something like that is not fun. 24 hour survalience.

i feel so stupid.

my boyfriend is scared for me.

i am scared for me.

and i dont know what to do. i can only hope it doesnt get infected....and take care of it as i would a new piercing.

i also hope the bandages i bought do what the box said they will do.

pull the wound together so that the scar wont be so bad.

i cant believe this happened again.

maybe time to seek some help.

maybe not.

my head hurts.