roxiekill

k, so now i'm jobless.
and scared and confused.


my boyfriend is the most wonderful man
he makes me so happy that sometimes i feel as though i could cry.


i tried to quit smoking last night because i cant really afford cigarettes anymore.


at least not until i start making money again.
i got my last check today and filled up my tank, bought myself lunch, and before i scratched my or someone else's eyeballs out......
i bought a fucking carton of cigarettes.


ex's make me want to barf.
most recent one called my cell phone at 5 15 this morning.
voicemail.
barf.


its funny to me how once a person isn't getting regular pussy anymore from the person they left you (me) for, all of a sudden they want to be better to you (me)....they realize what they put you (me) through and they're sorry and want to be with you and love you forever. they promise to change and all the other fucking bullshit desperate ass holes say.
it was a really long voicemail. im suprised he didn't get cut off.
anyways.....


part of me was kinda thinking "wow, he really sounds sincere this time....too fucking bad"
but then at around 4 30 this afternoon, i start getting perverted text messages.....


like i really wanna remember feeling like a fucking cum receptical!


so finally i replied "yeah, and then i found someone who reminded me i'm a person and deserve to be treated like one"
still no response.


i am so happy that today, i am with a person who cares about my feelings

who shows up when he says he will

tells me how he's feeling

actually cares what i think.....

who gives me a voice

someone who i dont feel the need to wait around with my

legs sread or mouth open wide to get any kind of attention from.

i can just be me and love him with all i have

and be happy and talk and laugh and share myself with him without holding anything back

instead of always being afraid that if i do or say certain things he might not want anything to do with me anymore.
sex is better when you dont hold back too....

i dont know

this entry was supposed to be about my search for a new job
and looking into going to school
and doing good things for myself.

well i guess trying to keep horny bastards out of my life is a good thing for myslelf right?

i dont have a job
my boyfriend is wonderful
my mom is really mean
my dad is the best man on the face of the planet
my brother is a dick....but one cool ass dick
my cat is crazy
my car is dirty
and so are most of my clothes right now
and horny bastards suck

k, bye