rowe

Have you ever felt more vunerable after feeling more for someone? It's like the deeper you go, the dark consumes the light of your confidence...

I am and it's unnerving.. Before, my feelings for Anthony were there, but not quite as strong as they are presently.. So back then, nothing really concerned me - I wouldn't get hurt if anything were to happen.. Now, my heart practically revolves around him and I can't seem to gain that confidence back...

In addition to my secret insecurities, I also feel that I don't know how to convey my feelings without looking stupid.. I spent so much time wasting my affection on a prior psycho ex that romance feels like such a childish thing to appreciate or pursue. Despite this, I have done SOME subtle things for Anthony to try to give him a taste of how I feel.. Just recently, I snuck and left a fake rose on his seat during his class with a note that said "To represent an undieing love".. He thanked me for it, but I don't think I got the reaction I was hoping for considering the balls it took just to do something so "mooshy".. Besides that, the romance seems almost one sided.. He'll do any errands I will ask of him and bring me flowers every now and again (mostly when there is an occassion), but I have told him that I would prefer flowers more "out of no where".. Still, he doesn't seem to break his pattern *sigh* So when I do these little "surprises" - it sometimes feels once sided.. Ultimately, I don't know how to express all this to him without feeling like a stereo-typical woman

"Invicible" by Crossfade pretty accurately expresses how I feel...