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rowan

Koh Samui, Thailand

SG Since 2005

Followers 355 Following 40

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Monday May 09, 2005

May 9, 2005
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Well, today was fun.


I was talking to my grandma on the phone and it got brought up that I was to be traveling to San Francisco this weekend for Prom. She asked what prom was and I told her that it was a dinner banquet for the website I model for.

"What are you modeling?"

"It's just some Internet modeling I have been doing."

"___, what are you modeling?"

"I am modeling nude. It's old pinup style and tasteful."

...dead silence.

I try to explain the site a small bit. About how not everyone is here 100% for the girls and it's a supportive community. That it is not degrading, and that I enjoy doing it.

She basically told me that I am doing porn. That next I will be dancing at Fox's. That it's dirty and only dirty people would be here.

I told her that she is my family and I love her...that I shouldn't have to hide what I do or the decisions I have made. That if I felt ashamed, I wouldn't be open about it.

That I didn't offer up the information, but I am not going to lie to my family when asked a direct question.

She sad she wasn't buying it. That it's pornography and she is disappointed. That she won't be telling her friends what I am up to.

I told her that I wasn't asking for her approval, I was asking for her to not think of me as less of a person.

She said she would try.

"Do your parents know about this???!!!"

"Yes, they do."

"And they are okay with it!??"

"I am 21 years old. While that isn't 'all grown up,' it is an age where I can make my own choices. They don't think any different of me.

"Does ____(Mr. Sadface) know?"

"Yes."

She then asked if he pressured me to do it. Like everything would be okay if it hadn't been my choice. That, if I was doing it because my boy asked me to, that somehow I would be cleaner.

"No. He doesn't tell me what to do. But he does support me in whatever I choose to do with my body and my life."

She then said that she had to go.

Funny how just 2 hours ago I was something to be proud of. ♥

xoxo
~Ro
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
sarahg:
I'm proud of you for your honesty. A lot of people wouldn't be able to do that.

i love your new profile picture.

kiss
May 10, 2005
crapathy:
My opinion:

I understand your desire to be honest about shit, but telling your grandma who won't understand that things have changed was not a good idea. I don't think telling her was a good idea because that she comes from a different generation, and you have to understand that she will feel different from you no matter how much you explain. No amount of explanation that you provide will make up for years and years of her understanding about how a "woman" should act. I really, really hate to say this, but I think you broke her heart.

M

May 10, 2005

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