rottensockets

I've been out and about a lot lately, probably so I don't have to think about what's really going on.
My whole movin' to portland thing is not happening. My boyfriend and his band are going, and I'm staying here, by my own choice. I asked him where I stand in his priorities, and he said 2nd. Harsh words to take. A t least I know I'm taking the right path. I could go, and unhappy putting him first in my life... but I should be thinking more of myself now, what I want and need to do. It's hard though, because I can feel myself wanting to disconnect with him, but that's not right either. I want him in my life. I just need to learn how to put myself first at this point. Well not myself, but my dreams. I do need to start living for myself. ...and saving at this rate too. Living on my own is going to suck, but I don't know if I really do want to room with someone. If I can afford not to, why not?
Day off today. Hopefully it will be productive.