I like this picture a lot, even if you can tell that Greg and I are exhausted because when this was taken, it was nearly 4 am. Dear Christ.
In other news, I dropped one class so that I can have time to work. I applied at an American Eagle near here today, and picked up applications at J. Crew, Banana Republic, The Gap, Express, and Borders--all of which are one T stop away from school. Hopefully at least one of them will be interested and I can make some money. My check from AE back home finally went through so my bank account isn't destroyed anymore (I overdrew by $72 last month), so now I don't feel quite as poor, but I really need to start thinking about next year. If I do go to Berklee, there is a pretty good chance that I'll be living off campus with Greg, which would mean $650 a month for the apartment plus the cost of food and other things. There is also a chance that I will be living with him for at least part of this coming summer, so that's more money--though I will be able to work at AE in Hanover, but the cost of gas will be a lot to drive back and forth.
Things are okay. Not great, but not terrible. I advanced several chairs in Wind Symphony, which is nice. I'm only taking 12 credit hours which is really good too--more time to work out, to practice, to work. I want this quarter to be good. I want to want to be here, not to long for home. Greg is coming to visit sometime and I hope to go home to see him for a long weekend but we'll see--that's expensive, and I can't ask my parents for money because I'm not going to tell them that I am coming home.
Katie and I made New Year's Resolutions today. We taped them up on our door, so that as we leave the room we can think about them all day long. I'm going to quit smoking cigarettes, practice every day, start working out a lot more, balance my checkbook, eat healthy, keep the room clean. Things like that. It's going to be good. I'm going to accomplish things, get back on the right track with my health. I'm not going to hook up with anyone here either. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be loyal. And that makes me happier than anything else, because I know I can do it. For him. For me.
Next weekend I am visiting Cameron in Holland. It will be a nice change of pace. We're on good terms now, we really talked about the situation over break. We're going to be good friends, and we each know that the other is off limits, that we're not going to fall back into old habits this time and let our sexuality get the best of us. I'm so proud of myself. As much as I don't want to be here right now, good things are happening. I'm forcing a change in my lifestyle that is going to benefit me, even in the smallest of ways.
And for the first time in a long while, I'm going to bed before midnight.