Ok that previous incident is now over. For my friends who talk to me IRL, I write a timeline so you can know a little bit about my lengthy ordeal without me having to repeat it or accidentally leaving anything out. If you're not interested (understandably!) just skip over the spoiler.
Warning, it's long and it gets angry at the end.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
In 2011, I make friends with a beautiful SG and we hit it off. I love her and it's a totally platonic thing that's as bright as the sun. Over time it gets closer and closer until we're both promising each other to hang out when she travels near me and we text.
2012, no more texting, no reason, but it's ok. The girl is going through changes in her life, seemingly for the better. But she gets busy and we hardly talk, maybe once or twice a year. I send her a quick gift as I'm very busy as well but she asks me to write her as she likes my hand-written letters. I'm tickled and vow to write her one as part of her X-Mas gift, and I do...putting heart on paper by pen.
2013 March, after several months of no talking, she finally tells me suddenly on SG that in March that she got the letter and gift, that she's sorry it took months to respond (no reply to the letter though, which is worrisome), and that she'll be visiting about three weeks in LA and will stay for about three/four weeks. She wants to visit and I ask her if we can do something together like we've discussed so many times. She wants to see me. I want to see her...her sister can come too, both as my guests since it's the first time we'll meet and I want her to feel safe.
2013 April, three weeks have passed, she should have arrived but no message. I've been prepping for her visit and cleaning up the car, my place, saving money to treat the two of them, etc. I have no idea what the plan is. I'm guessing she's shooting in LA as she wants to get FP again and we have a TON of photogs...and she's just too booked to see me or say anything. In the last week, I send her a message to see if she's alright, I'm also worried maybe something happened to her as well.
2013 May, it's been six weeks since I've known she's visited and now she's gone. No word. After a few more weeks where I'd be sure she must be back home and re-settled in, still nothing. Now I suspect she is purposefully distancing herself...but if that's so, why the message she is visiting in the first place??
2013 July, at this time in mid to late July, it's been about 70 days of me twisting in the wind. I try not to think about it as I can't sleep and it's affecting my work. I'm sad whenever I'm alone. Once every two weeks I check her COMMENTS on SG to see if she's returned to SG. After a few times over the two months, finally in late July, she has made comments. ...comments on other SG's sets about how hot they look on the Picture Boards on SG. Not a single word for me.
It's obvious now she is the one doing this on purpose and I have done no wrong to deserve it...
I feel stupid - for worrying about her well being.
I feel angered - for being treated in such a disrespectful way when I've been only the best to her.
I feel ashamed - for my friendship and feelings being worth less than looking at naked pictures.
I feel humiliated - for caring so much about someone who treats me like a non-entity.
I feel abandoned - because I am and it's one of the things I fear the most since I've been a child.
I feel tremendous pain - for caring so much about someone who cares for me not at all.
At this point things are irreconcilable. There's no way there's any reason in the world that's acceptable for this, for not even giving me closure and making me wait/twist in the wind. But it's HER prerogative. There's no need for me to dwell on it. I don't even send her an angry note; what's the point? I respect her silence and her not wanting to talk to me and I just mentally and emotionally leave since she already has. I try to take it like a man and move on.
Fully within my rights, I begin the mental and emotional process of trying to get over her. At one time I really loved this girl. There's nothing I can do about how badly I was treated. I can only move on and not think about it any more. I can't heal the injury, only numb the pain. At this point, I have to be honest, there are many moments where I'm outright suicidal.
2013 August, it's a few days from my b-day, the 31st. She doesn't send me a letter or try to ease herself back in to my life. She just drops a bomb in my message box. It's now been about 100 blind days. She says that she deliberately distanced herself because her sister (who the girl said she's mentioned me many times to said sister...the sister lives near me which is why the girl can visit me when she visits sis) says that not only is this guy strange, but that sis threatens to tell parents that she's nude modeling on SG. Since she relies on her parents a lot, the girl is scared.
While I find that understandable, I find her reason of her feeling guilty that she's going against her sister's wishes is the reason why she sent no note to give me closure of any sort...no letter, no one or two-liner, utter silence. And it doesn't say anything about why she was on in July and no message. And why she drops this bomb so rudely in August before my b-day. I was so close in getting over her.
Every 31st of August, I treat it as the one day I think only of myself and no others. One of the things I do is I purge my SG Friends list of everyone who has either treated me badly or asked me to be their friend and then wasn't. For people I haven't talked to but we have good history, that's fine. The ones who bring me grief or annoyance when I think about them on my b-day, I unfriend them. Because that's the day I can do it and not care if it stings them.
With her and several other SGs, I was already going to unfriend them and in some cases, block them. I'm tired of their super photo-dump blogs about their stupid lives while they lack so much character in treating people. And this year I was going to do the same with this girl and just feel it was over...in other words I would give myself the closure that she didn't.
For her to post right before not only threatened to ruin my b-day, it aggravated me on my special trip to Monterey.
I blog about it and the trip upcoming. She tries to fumble another apology but what's done can't be undone and more importantly, she doesn't get at all the degree and depth she's hurt me or how. She even suggests to me that I should block her, like that would solve anything now. ...kinda ridiculous for someone to offend so badly and tell me how and what degree I should be angry about it.
2013 August 31st,
So I blogged my anger on my b-day, very early because I couldn't sleep, to blow off steam so I could sleep and try to have the energy to enjoy my one day. I had just returned from Monterey earlier that day and was so annoyed that I had this great trip and every time I'm alone for a minute, all I can think of was these feelings I held inside for over 100 days and how poor in taste her message was.
Upon waking, she's sent me another long message accusing me (serious accusation to me) that I in my blog threatened her with violent revenge (you guys can read my Aug. 31st blog, again the Spoiler section so you can see how ridiculous what she says is) and that she doesn't feel she's done anything that bad, that I'm a bad guy for being so angry and I'm a bad person for "violent threats" and basically infers she thought she could get away with treating me like shit because I'm generally kind to women. It's a mess.
She tries to hurt me again and make me feel guilty for her douchebaggery. It didn't work.
And to top off her immaturity, she...blocks me. Hahahaha.
Now though, I feel way better. In the absence of one person I once considered important but distant, I now have many, many new friends, several of which have come to mean a lot to me. That includes one I just met this last week and is now special to me. <3 You know who you are, Miss "I have 500 things in common with Ror." Most people are lucky to get one or two special friends...I should know. But I got two new special friends during this time and a ton more new good SG pals. I reconnected with some old SG friends, made up and became friends with others. In the vacuum of losing one person I put way too much importance in, a ton of interesting people have rushed in and filled the void.
You guys are AWESOME.
<3 Mena
I dedicate this blog, my 40th birthday blog, to you all, my friends both old and new.
The EPIC 40th Birthday SG Blog
In the last, last blog, posted on August 31st, I had pictures that highlighted my trip to the Monterey Bay aquarium and the trip back down driving down the amazing Pacific Coast Highway 1. This was August 30th.
This time, after I got back, the next day I went to Long Beach.
While there...
...I got this message from Serene, my favorite SG:
What can I say, she makes me laugh, she makes me smile, she makes me feel loved. <3
Earlier in the week she sent me this gif when I was down and cheered me up!
Basically in both instances her kindnesses eliminated the other person's BS and cheered me up to the point where I could enjoy myself on my trips.
This is on the 31st, my actual bday. I often go to LB on my b-day except the one time I went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. However because of early morning drama (same person, more drama), I wound up getting there early afternoon, too late to visit the LB Aquarium.
So instead I took a half-day whale watch cruise! Man it was insane...
First, while boarding the ship, I took a picture of a pelican in flight...
After cruising out of the harbor area and past the shipping lanes, we were cruising for about 20 minutes before we hit dolphins...wild dolphins.
Many were so playful, they swam under our ship! (Our ship is on two, widely set-apart fins so the middle is totally hollow. They out-swam our boat whenever they wanted.
Dozens at a time!
And incredibly close! 
They came from every direction.
Heck, sometimes we had multiple schools converge on us. Look at the two dolphins in the lower right corner, they're two different species! Two packs intersecting together, the dark grey and light grey ones. Short-beaked (dark grey) and long-beaked ones (light grey).
More!
All in all I think we saw over 200 different individuals. The pictures don't do it justice as these are only the close-ups.
Then came the whales...here's one with it's fin up. Blue whale.
Flocks of sea birds were also trying to get at the krill. Whale-shaped flock, haha.
Grey whale spout!
Blue whale tail fluke and blue whale side of mouth.
Super-close blue whale spout...we at the front of the boat were happily drenched. 
Blue whale mouth, different from the one above, coming out of the water vertically.
I just like this shot, it summarized the day. Bright sun, beautiful water, and whales serenading us with their spouts. Because of the sun, often times you had to make quick adjustments to the camera for high or normal luminosity, especially when the sun reflected the water.
Two blue whale spouts, one adult and one adolescent.
Just a shot of a perfect day with Catalina Island in the background.
While the dolphins were easy to spot because they kept hopping out of the water, the whales we spotted because of their giant water spouts! But it was tricky taking pictures of them as dolphins swim near the surface and hop out of the water. Whales on the other hand some up, you have that one moment after you see it, then it goes back down under water.
Overall there were maybe 50 whales, 200 dolphins. It was a total rush. And a very happy birthday.
- R
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