Sorry for not updating moreeveryday I come home from work I feel beat or I feel like I want to play something or read somethingeven though I totally have something I want to write.
Since the last few times Ive been writing geeky stuff, today will be the nerdy post as I like to swap back and forth between geekiness and nerdiness.
But first, an update on me
Ive decided to officially put my heart away again. Im no longer on the market; Im no longer looking for a special someone. The experiment of the last year and a half or so is over and Ive gone back to my natural state, which I was in for over ten years. I simply cant take the heartbreaking pain that comes with searching and not finding. Ironically, it would sound like Im in a lot of pain nowactually quite the contrary, Im fairly upbeat and having a lot of fun just chatting with friends. A few new friends have really made life enjoyable the last couple of weeks. Thanks to youyou know who you are!
Why this change? Ive felt the heartbreak several times over the past 18 months or sowhy now? For those of you whove read my past journal, I recently had this horrible experience on SG where I tried to make a new friend and basically got skewered for it. Well, making friends is something I feel is a very innocent thing, especially when its with someone here on SG who isnt a Hopeful or SG, someone who isnt naked on here. Those close to me on this site know that Ive been really beaten down recently by certain more intimate relationshipsbut none of those broke me. It was this last innocent area in my heart that got tarnishedsomething in me snapped. So its much better this way for me. It seems that Im just too deep and too multi-layered to get to know in that way and the layers throw other people offthe real me is never seen. Actually I cant say that, its more like the real me is rarely acknowledged, only when things are really bad or the situation is extremely difficult does the real me manifest. Ive been fortunate enough to have been tested in a few precarious situations and have found out who I really am.
Now that Ive explained that part, this next part will sound a bit contradictory but it isntI also have a new crush. Im not going to say who it is or describe the person other than its a girl on SG. Shes totally out of my league, looks-wise, is insanely popular and thus I have no chance with her. (Thats not really true but I like to think of her that way. ) Thus its a safe crush for me to have, one who I can just admire from afar. I guess I need someone to fill that hole in my heart without risking actual heartbreak. I have this strong feeling that one more and it will kill me, kill my identitythe pain threshold will have been exceeded and my sub-consciousness will seek to remove every single internal ethic I currently have and replace it with something more savage. Not sure if that makes any sense I run on a very strict set of internal ethics, a code if you will, and it prevents me from doing what is convenient over what is right. Im a highly intelligent and imaginative individual who doesnt believe in boundaries of thoughtjust my own internal ethics. I have an IQ in the 170s or so, maybe higher on good days and unlike many smart folk, I dont think well in only one direction. Without my ethics, I could totally become something awful. Think Hannibal-esque.
And part of me might just rise up and try to stop myself from going nuts like that. So I have to do this. But so far, Im feeling pretty good.
Ok, enough of that noiseHeres the Sex Pistols!
HeLa cells
In micro-biology, there is a general rule that any living cell taken from an organism can only divide so many times before the cells cant divide any longer. And every cell dies. So if you take a biological sample, you know you will have to take another after a certain amount of time as all the cells from the first sample will die. Thus mortality exists on a cellular level. Scientists are still trying to figure out why this happens but all acknowledge it to be true, no matter how many chromosomes the cell has.
Except
In the 50s, a scientist took a biopsy from a uterine lesion of a female cancer victim. Eventually that person died but the cells from that person kept growing and multiplying, as long as the cells were placed in a hospitable environment. They are still growing to this day. They are called HeLa cells, after the person they were discovered in, one Henrietta Lacks.
Her family has never received any money for any of this since there was no such thing as biological patents on cells at that time. I dont think DNA had even been discovered yet, let alone genetic sequencing.
Heres the fun part. These cells never die so theyre used in almost every hostile environment experiment such as sending biological samples in to space or on the moon. These cells are immortal and extremely hardy. In fact, they are so annoyingly hardy that theyve contaminated a high percentage of biological samples in just about every laboratory to the point where any new microbiology researcher needs to be able to identify a HeLa cell! It seems the cells can travel on dust particles and move around in the air for periods of time enough to land on other dishes and party some more.
Anyways, since then, scientists have discovered a few more cell strains in the biological world that are also immortal but HeLa cells continue to keep their high degree of importance because they are human cells, just slightly mutated. Since genetic sequencing is a reality now, this cell is obviously one that is on geneticists priority lists to decode.
the secret of immortality, you know.
But it just goes to show how much Death is a part of life. If a cell doesnt obey, doesnt die according to an organisms DNA, then that cell is cancer. And while cancerous cells may have some fun dividing and spreading, eventually they kill the host (if theyre malignant), thus killing themselves too. Sometimes living parts simply need to die off so the intended biological sculpture can be created.
- R
PS Lately Ive been craving Ultima Online like a mofobest game in the history of MMOs, in the history of games, period.
Heres a clip for ya. Anyone who ever played UO back in the heyday of the late 90s, early 00s, this song will send chills through you. As any serious UO player will tell you, insert non-UO MMO name here, like WoW is just a game; UO is a lifestyle.
Since the last few times Ive been writing geeky stuff, today will be the nerdy post as I like to swap back and forth between geekiness and nerdiness.
But first, an update on me
Ive decided to officially put my heart away again. Im no longer on the market; Im no longer looking for a special someone. The experiment of the last year and a half or so is over and Ive gone back to my natural state, which I was in for over ten years. I simply cant take the heartbreaking pain that comes with searching and not finding. Ironically, it would sound like Im in a lot of pain nowactually quite the contrary, Im fairly upbeat and having a lot of fun just chatting with friends. A few new friends have really made life enjoyable the last couple of weeks. Thanks to youyou know who you are!
Why this change? Ive felt the heartbreak several times over the past 18 months or sowhy now? For those of you whove read my past journal, I recently had this horrible experience on SG where I tried to make a new friend and basically got skewered for it. Well, making friends is something I feel is a very innocent thing, especially when its with someone here on SG who isnt a Hopeful or SG, someone who isnt naked on here. Those close to me on this site know that Ive been really beaten down recently by certain more intimate relationshipsbut none of those broke me. It was this last innocent area in my heart that got tarnishedsomething in me snapped. So its much better this way for me. It seems that Im just too deep and too multi-layered to get to know in that way and the layers throw other people offthe real me is never seen. Actually I cant say that, its more like the real me is rarely acknowledged, only when things are really bad or the situation is extremely difficult does the real me manifest. Ive been fortunate enough to have been tested in a few precarious situations and have found out who I really am.
Now that Ive explained that part, this next part will sound a bit contradictory but it isntI also have a new crush. Im not going to say who it is or describe the person other than its a girl on SG. Shes totally out of my league, looks-wise, is insanely popular and thus I have no chance with her. (Thats not really true but I like to think of her that way. ) Thus its a safe crush for me to have, one who I can just admire from afar. I guess I need someone to fill that hole in my heart without risking actual heartbreak. I have this strong feeling that one more and it will kill me, kill my identitythe pain threshold will have been exceeded and my sub-consciousness will seek to remove every single internal ethic I currently have and replace it with something more savage. Not sure if that makes any sense I run on a very strict set of internal ethics, a code if you will, and it prevents me from doing what is convenient over what is right. Im a highly intelligent and imaginative individual who doesnt believe in boundaries of thoughtjust my own internal ethics. I have an IQ in the 170s or so, maybe higher on good days and unlike many smart folk, I dont think well in only one direction. Without my ethics, I could totally become something awful. Think Hannibal-esque.
And part of me might just rise up and try to stop myself from going nuts like that. So I have to do this. But so far, Im feeling pretty good.
Ok, enough of that noiseHeres the Sex Pistols!
HeLa cells
In micro-biology, there is a general rule that any living cell taken from an organism can only divide so many times before the cells cant divide any longer. And every cell dies. So if you take a biological sample, you know you will have to take another after a certain amount of time as all the cells from the first sample will die. Thus mortality exists on a cellular level. Scientists are still trying to figure out why this happens but all acknowledge it to be true, no matter how many chromosomes the cell has.
Except
In the 50s, a scientist took a biopsy from a uterine lesion of a female cancer victim. Eventually that person died but the cells from that person kept growing and multiplying, as long as the cells were placed in a hospitable environment. They are still growing to this day. They are called HeLa cells, after the person they were discovered in, one Henrietta Lacks.
Her family has never received any money for any of this since there was no such thing as biological patents on cells at that time. I dont think DNA had even been discovered yet, let alone genetic sequencing.
Heres the fun part. These cells never die so theyre used in almost every hostile environment experiment such as sending biological samples in to space or on the moon. These cells are immortal and extremely hardy. In fact, they are so annoyingly hardy that theyve contaminated a high percentage of biological samples in just about every laboratory to the point where any new microbiology researcher needs to be able to identify a HeLa cell! It seems the cells can travel on dust particles and move around in the air for periods of time enough to land on other dishes and party some more.
Anyways, since then, scientists have discovered a few more cell strains in the biological world that are also immortal but HeLa cells continue to keep their high degree of importance because they are human cells, just slightly mutated. Since genetic sequencing is a reality now, this cell is obviously one that is on geneticists priority lists to decode.
the secret of immortality, you know.
But it just goes to show how much Death is a part of life. If a cell doesnt obey, doesnt die according to an organisms DNA, then that cell is cancer. And while cancerous cells may have some fun dividing and spreading, eventually they kill the host (if theyre malignant), thus killing themselves too. Sometimes living parts simply need to die off so the intended biological sculpture can be created.
- R
PS Lately Ive been craving Ultima Online like a mofobest game in the history of MMOs, in the history of games, period.
Heres a clip for ya. Anyone who ever played UO back in the heyday of the late 90s, early 00s, this song will send chills through you. As any serious UO player will tell you, insert non-UO MMO name here, like WoW is just a game; UO is a lifestyle.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
amelia:
Dizzy over someone? or just Dizzy?
amelia:
I hope you can get all the de-stressing you can handle