So I picked up the CPAP machine this afternoon. The tech showed me how to set it up at his office and had me try it out in his recliner. To be honest I'm just about as intrigued by his chair as I am about the CPAP machine. It took me a minute to realize I wasn't having a dizzy moment but rather the chair was subtly rocking me at the pace of a gentle surf. If I had one of those I might never sleep in a bed again.
The machine was interesting. Is interesting.
One of the biggest challenges I've always had with my sleep is my general inability to breath through my nose. This is why I've taken to using super strong antihistamines on a daily basis. This is also why my nose is frequently dry and cracked, sometimes bleeding. It's a trade off: iritated nose versus being able to breathe.
The CPAP machine does two things that I'm very much in favor of: one, the air pressure keeps my sinuses very open, pushing air in, so that where I used to struggle to get enough air in now I just relax and let it get pushed in. Two, the machine incorporates a humidifier, so the air being pushed in is set to a four out of five on humidity. Not sure what the percentage of that is, but I've tried it on at home and I have to say... I'm looking forward to the results.
I'm hoping I'll be able to adapt to it tonight. The tech insisted I try it right away. His reasoning is that right now the instructions on how to use it are fresh in my mind and I'm more likely to try. Waiting a day will make it less clear and I'll be more likely to put it off. Being someone who's very used to putting things off until it's absolutely unavoidable I couldn't fault his reasoning. So I'm definitely starting tonight.
I tried it when I got home, after stopping off at Safeway to pick up some distilled water for the humidifier. I put it on, started up the pressure, and just lay there breathing. Even if wearing the mask causes me to have trouble falling asleep tonight I think I can, at the very least, lie there and just focus on my breathing. The mask feels relatively comfortable and the breathing feels good. Even if I don't fall asleep I'll be able to get a good rest, physically. At the very least it's infinitely better than the equipment I wore for testing my apnea.
Focusing on my breathing is nothing new for me, it's how I get to sleep most nights. Wearing earplugs helps with this, of course. Blocking out all other noise lets me just listen to the air going in and out of my lungs. The sound is very reassuring.
When I first developed apnea, way back in high school, the closing of my airway would have me waking up gasping, convinced I was being suffocated. The panic and adrenaline made it almost impossible to get back to sleep for at least a quarter of an hour. Drift off, stop breathing, wake in a panic of suffocation and adrenaline, rinse, repeat. It was hell.
I gradually developed my own way of sleeping that minimized these effects. Sleeping on my stomach kept me from closing off my airway as quickly. For years I thought I'd managed to keep myself from closing it off at all but I've gradually learned that I just adapted to the problem rather than solving it. The testing proved I still stop breathing and I know I wake up frequently through the night. I've simply learned to remain calm, find a new position, and go back to sleep. Focusing on my breathing, hearing the air go in and out of my body, helps both by bringing my oxygen levels back up (so I've learned) and keeps me calm while reassuring my half asleep mind that I am, in fact, breathing.
One of the questions that gets asked frequently by each new physician in this testing and treatment process is "how long does it take for you to fall asleep?" My answer is always "less than 5 minutes." For me the problem isn't getting to sleep, the problem is sleeping deep enough.
One of the things I've been told to expect is that I'll start dreaming again, and having long rich dreams that will involve complete story-lines. I look forward to that.
Here's hoping.
The machine was interesting. Is interesting.
One of the biggest challenges I've always had with my sleep is my general inability to breath through my nose. This is why I've taken to using super strong antihistamines on a daily basis. This is also why my nose is frequently dry and cracked, sometimes bleeding. It's a trade off: iritated nose versus being able to breathe.
The CPAP machine does two things that I'm very much in favor of: one, the air pressure keeps my sinuses very open, pushing air in, so that where I used to struggle to get enough air in now I just relax and let it get pushed in. Two, the machine incorporates a humidifier, so the air being pushed in is set to a four out of five on humidity. Not sure what the percentage of that is, but I've tried it on at home and I have to say... I'm looking forward to the results.
I'm hoping I'll be able to adapt to it tonight. The tech insisted I try it right away. His reasoning is that right now the instructions on how to use it are fresh in my mind and I'm more likely to try. Waiting a day will make it less clear and I'll be more likely to put it off. Being someone who's very used to putting things off until it's absolutely unavoidable I couldn't fault his reasoning. So I'm definitely starting tonight.
I tried it when I got home, after stopping off at Safeway to pick up some distilled water for the humidifier. I put it on, started up the pressure, and just lay there breathing. Even if wearing the mask causes me to have trouble falling asleep tonight I think I can, at the very least, lie there and just focus on my breathing. The mask feels relatively comfortable and the breathing feels good. Even if I don't fall asleep I'll be able to get a good rest, physically. At the very least it's infinitely better than the equipment I wore for testing my apnea.
Focusing on my breathing is nothing new for me, it's how I get to sleep most nights. Wearing earplugs helps with this, of course. Blocking out all other noise lets me just listen to the air going in and out of my lungs. The sound is very reassuring.
When I first developed apnea, way back in high school, the closing of my airway would have me waking up gasping, convinced I was being suffocated. The panic and adrenaline made it almost impossible to get back to sleep for at least a quarter of an hour. Drift off, stop breathing, wake in a panic of suffocation and adrenaline, rinse, repeat. It was hell.
I gradually developed my own way of sleeping that minimized these effects. Sleeping on my stomach kept me from closing off my airway as quickly. For years I thought I'd managed to keep myself from closing it off at all but I've gradually learned that I just adapted to the problem rather than solving it. The testing proved I still stop breathing and I know I wake up frequently through the night. I've simply learned to remain calm, find a new position, and go back to sleep. Focusing on my breathing, hearing the air go in and out of my body, helps both by bringing my oxygen levels back up (so I've learned) and keeps me calm while reassuring my half asleep mind that I am, in fact, breathing.
One of the questions that gets asked frequently by each new physician in this testing and treatment process is "how long does it take for you to fall asleep?" My answer is always "less than 5 minutes." For me the problem isn't getting to sleep, the problem is sleeping deep enough.
One of the things I've been told to expect is that I'll start dreaming again, and having long rich dreams that will involve complete story-lines. I look forward to that.
Here's hoping.