rooch

As my previous entry states, I was up till CockMongler O' Clock last night shooting the shit. Was about to go to sleep when my ex came online. Now to give a brief summary, it was my only real relationship of note, and we never really got over each other. But we've remained friends and are still very important to one another. She came online and told me that one of her exes had convinced her he wanted her back. Cue the sex, and suddenly he doesn't anymore. She's always fallen for it, and the worst thing is she has insanely low self esteem. It kills her when this happens, but it's a vicious cycle. Because of her self esteem, she falls for it, and because they know she falls for it, they totally abuse her for it. She gets her heart broken, and the worst thing is there's nothing I can do. I'm on the opposite side of the world, so I can't comfort her. Worse still she believes I don't love her (more self esteem issues) so even when I ask to talk to her, she backs away, thinking I'll wind up trying to get back together, only to break her heart. It KILLS, because if I was in the same city, I promise I'd have been there to advise her against winding up with these fuckwits.

So she was obviously upset online talking about it, but as I referred to, she just doesn't want to talk. At this point I'm already drowsy, coupled with being depressed as hell about the situation. She left, and I just feel like shit now. It's so infuriating feeling this helpless. So I fell asleep, and awoke feeling angry and depressed. Nothing I can do though. Just gotta hope that in 6 months time when my visa expires, I can go back and help her out.