ronniek

most nights i think about the past.
most nights i wonder where i went.
this shell of a man called boy is lost and afraid.
i don't remember what path i took to get here, or how many wrong turns there were along the way.
but i remember where i started.
hope in the truth of gravity-bent time has me watching for the origin while...
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Amici vitia si feras, facias tua.
-Publilius Syrus

I got into graduate school, folks! I'll be starting my M.A. this fall in Comparative Literature. YaY!

It amazes me how many lives are lived in the things we never say. Silence breeds more possible futures than most people admit to having dreamed. The best and worst are experienced in minutes, the middletons of logic are pined over for days. Is he mad? Is he ignoring me? Why hasn't he called me back? What did my mother mean when she rolled her...
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I'm going to be in Corvallis, OR most of next week. Anybody live around there?

haiku for my mother:

growing up with you
i learned the smell of whiskey
and dinnerless nights.

when your belt cut through
my back i knew the bottle
had drowned your mercy.

crown and diet coke
for you, a six-pack for him;
family dinner.

you told me to lock
the door, afraid he'd hit me;
just make him leave.

you bad-mouth my dad,
but he...
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hippity hop goes the drop-top flop of a funny bunny on a shot of honey from a knee-deep bee diggin' ditches in the stiches of our how-ya-doin' so that for just a moment we can vent our where-ya-goin to the stars like scars in jars with air-tight seals never meant to be revealed. or maybe we're just the yippity ya-ya of a wa-wa race.

Haiku du jour:

I want to sew our
hearts together with cotton
floss; it never breaks.

The trouble with knowing the most amazing people is that it becomes so hard to be content with the mediocre ones. And what if I'm mediocre? Maybe I'll forever want the fantastic, never settle for the ordinary, and keep looking for the impossible. Or maybe there's something to the whole fate thing and life will just work itself out for me. Until then, I'm missing...
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Well, folks, it's been a little while since I updated. My Popie could die any day, but he may last a few months. All up to time now. He pretends not to be bothered, but his eyes speak volumes about his fear. While we fished, his casts were weak and sad. Each time the hook surfaced empty his skin sagged a little more. It breaks...
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Who I am has nothing to do with who I was or who I will become. It is as much about this moment as the breath you will forget to take when you realize that to me, you are everything.

Saw NIN and Saul Williams last night.
Incredible show.