We're masochists in the worst way, playing with fire in a sick game of who can beat who worst. Self-destruction's the name of the game here, and we're tied for first.
Enough of that vague shit.
There are times during these fine days where I deafen myself with my ipod, grab a beer and a smoke and rock the fuck out of my face. We'll title this intense feeling of awesome X.
There are also times where I just can't get up from where I am. I have no drive, no motivation, and even moreso, no care for anything. Due to the equal intensity of this terrible mood, we'll mark this X also.
X = X
The two contrasting feelings tend to happen simultaneously and thus, end up cancelling each other out. Fuck you, cruel mistress of Mathematics!
This leads to a certain numbness I've been vigorously engaging in; it seems I am a zombie because of an emotional overload between Awesome and Suck.
It seems my Zombie Mode seems to flare up at night, with little to nothing to keep me from actually considering what makes me in such a way [as noted thus].
It's interesting when your whole life parallels, of all albums, Green Day's "American Idiot".
Sorry Outkast, I know you love the way I move, but I'm just not in the mood to shimmy shimmy ya*.
RECENTLY ACQUIRED KNOWLEDGE:
x I have actually found an addiction. And no, it's not alcohol. Caffeine. Though, Kahlua and coffee makes a fine cup.
x There is not one single facet of my life that is not, in fact, a hypocrisy unto itself. Fate's always fuckin' with me, but I won't fold.
x I like poker. A lot. Loooooot.
* name that tune!
Enough of that vague shit.
There are times during these fine days where I deafen myself with my ipod, grab a beer and a smoke and rock the fuck out of my face. We'll title this intense feeling of awesome X.
There are also times where I just can't get up from where I am. I have no drive, no motivation, and even moreso, no care for anything. Due to the equal intensity of this terrible mood, we'll mark this X also.
X = X
The two contrasting feelings tend to happen simultaneously and thus, end up cancelling each other out. Fuck you, cruel mistress of Mathematics!
This leads to a certain numbness I've been vigorously engaging in; it seems I am a zombie because of an emotional overload between Awesome and Suck.
It seems my Zombie Mode seems to flare up at night, with little to nothing to keep me from actually considering what makes me in such a way [as noted thus].
It's interesting when your whole life parallels, of all albums, Green Day's "American Idiot".
Sorry Outkast, I know you love the way I move, but I'm just not in the mood to shimmy shimmy ya*.
RECENTLY ACQUIRED KNOWLEDGE:
x I have actually found an addiction. And no, it's not alcohol. Caffeine. Though, Kahlua and coffee makes a fine cup.
x There is not one single facet of my life that is not, in fact, a hypocrisy unto itself. Fate's always fuckin' with me, but I won't fold.
x I like poker. A lot. Loooooot.
* name that tune!