rog21

Damn the Pharm midterm was bllllaaaaaaaahhhhhh! I studied so hard for it, but then I couldn't review it all at the end because I also had to study for this stupid biochem midterm that was on the same day for the SECOND TIME! So I'll probably get like an 80% or slightly better on that Pharm, when I could have easily destroyed it...oh well, it's best 3 out of 4 in that class, so maybe I'll just drop this one...good news is: my long weekend is here!!!!

Oh except I have this social science class at 6h30 tonight though, but I hardly call that school...can't wait to spend some time with Sarah M. again in class...I'd better figure out if she has a BF, because the more I find out about her, the better it gets. She's into cardiovascular research, is a competitive athlete in a few sports (and a synchronized swimming coach), she's on this cardiovascular journal at school, volunteers at the hospital, is ridiculously intelligent and articulate, wants to go to med school (and will of course get in), and she's from my hometown! So when I go back to Montreal next year I may just see her some more...I am normally very confident with girls but now with her I am out of my comfort zone, it's weird. She's so perfect it's a little intimidating, and lately I've just been studying and I've had no time for the gym, socializing, seeing girls, so I'm a little out of my game...better put this long weekend to good use then!

I just realized I may have never had any shyness with girls because I never really went for those I really liked to begin with, which is so weird when you think about it...I always just went for what came along, and I guess it's uncharacteristic of me because I normally just go for what I want and make things happen, rather than just sit back, in other areas of my life, so why not in romance?...I think that if I do a little boring psychoanalytic introspection, it's because I always hated drama and girls with attitude, so I just went for what was "easy" and "readily available" just because it spared me the drama, and because if it didn't work then, well too bad, moving right along...But with her it's just so different. She's really smart and well rounded, so when she had her honours presentation, which was so good and compelled me to approach her, I just went right up and introduced myself and started talking to her, expecting nothing of it...But I was more than a little surprised by how little attitude and standoffishness this girl showed for someone so attractive and evidently talented, which was refreshing and kind of took me aback a little.

I guess it's like this sweet torture inside, because on the one hand I am REALLY excited about the prospect of even just seeing her in class for a few hours, and the more I learn about her the better it gets, which is so unexpected; on the other hand I am holding back a lot because it doesn't make sense to be so excited so soon about someone, which is a first for me, and surely would be offputting or a little intimidating if I just let her see that...Oh well, I guess I will just be patient and see what comes...boring, I know, and so anti-climactic. But believe me, I could use the drop in blood pressure after these crazy midterms, what with all this stress and sleep deprivation (which will hopefully turn into some other kind of depravation this weekend, hahaha!)...plus I'm not going to ask her out when I look friggin' decrepit from all this studying and not sleeping and eating crap...which reminds me I need to reestablish balance in my life, so good food, lots of sleep and some downtime baybay! If not for my health, then at least for the sake of seeing girls...

And I know that I am rambling on and going on mad tangents just now, but is there such a thing as a healthy relationship while one is in school? And if the obvious answer is no here, then can you tell a girl you don't want anything serious without sounding like a total sleazeball who just wants to sleep with her? For instance, not having the time and energy for most relationships right now (most tend to be pretty demanding), I would like to just be able to hang out with a girl, watch a movie, go out for dinner and a nice chat, go to the gym together, etc, but without having to deal with the cling or the "where were you?"s and the expectation of being available on a regular basis like it's a job...I mean one should not be jealous of my textbooks, and yes they do take up the most of my time right now, which I think is fair...but still, being able to have a good night out, or in, which is totally random and without strings, while keeping it classy and not just letting it be a sleazy booty call, seems to be a hard middle ground to reach, and I seem to usually get girls that are way at one end or other of the spectrum (like either STD-ridden nymphettes or paranoid-jealous-commitment-cling freaks). I mean I am a Scorpio, so of course I like sex, but I want to have it with a smart girl whom I can talk to and hang out with afterwards, but without her being my girlfriend. There. I guess I've finally gotten to the crux of the issue: I don't want a girlfriend, but I do want some casual QUALITY company. Does that exist, or am I insane?

And that's just the thing: Sarah would totally be the exception to that rule. I would date her steady in a heartbeat if she even showed the slightest interest. Well I guess I am back to square one then: I don't want a girlfriend usually because I don't like the prospects enough for that, which means I better find someone whom I DO like enough, i.e. Sarah. Alright, problem solved. I will go get a nice nap and clean up for Sarah later tonight, and then test out the waters... I just hope she doesn't have a boyfriend. Wouldn't that be a bitch. Ahhh but she probably doesn't; perfect girls never do somehow.

Alright, this boy is getting some sleep now. Whoa that was a lot of neuroticism for just one post... Better not accumulate such a crazy sleep deficit too often, lest I should go even more insane than usual!

Later,

Patty

Fuck I got 85% on the Pharm midterm....whhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Thanks xsntt!

You seem like a brilliant person yourself, so that acknowledgement coming from someone such as yourself is especially flattering indeed! I am glad you wrote this, because I too am sick of people without substance; you're a very interesting blogger and your posts actually have depth and substance, as opposed to the same old generic two-liners filled with LOLs and OMGs towards which I have developed a chemical aversion...I have meant to respond to a few very interesting posts of yours for a few days now (I am sorry for the loss of your father, by the way...) but have not had the time to write a proper response, so hopefully I can sometime this weekend. Nice to meet you, and glad to count you among my SG friends!

Patrick

So Sarah M. had her honours prelim presentation today, and her research has to do with the cardiovascular system and the role of natriuretic peptides in heart diseases/conditions like congestive heart failure. Her presentation was amazing, and she seems ridiculously smart...so about my dilemma above, I guess that presentation was an answer in itself; I just couldn't believe how brilliant she was (in addition to being uber ravishing, which I already knew of course!) so after class I was just so compelled to go talk to her that I just did it on impulse, and did not even think about my issue with Jay or anything...

Sarah was so enthusiastic and had no attitude whatever, and was very approachable, which was incredibly refreshing for someone as attractive and evidently brilliant as she is...guess I'll be sitting next to her now in class, and get to know her better...The best part is that I told Jay right away afterwards, because I did feel like I had to, and he was totally cool with it, so problem solved I guess!!! As much as he ''saw her first'', and liked her A LOT, he didn't go for it for something like 3 years now, so I guess it was fair that I go talk to her I suppose...I'm just really glad how that turned out...

Will keep you posted on further developments!

Cheers,

Patty

Hahaha, yeah this lady giving me these furtive looks in the building where I live...maybe I'll take my textbooks down to the laundry room to study next time I'm doing a load of laundry...at least nothing is missing from my load of clothes, as far as I can tell. Sneaky lady. Oh well, I was getting bored from grading first year biology lab reports for the lab class I teach, so it made me laugh! And guys are supposed to be creepy, right?

I guess you could say that
Ps to post on another's blog just click on their pic

Hey when you say ''to post on another's blog just click on their pic", do you mean I could do that also to reply to another's message on my own blog, to reply to your last message on here for instance? Can you tell I am a total noob or what? Haha!

Hey, welcome to SG! Dexter is fantastic.

Thanks! And yes, can't get enough of Dexter!