rockzombie

An old friend of mine died of an overdose yesterday. They found him dead on the stairs in front of his house this morning. The remorse that I feel about it is very odd though. Back in the day he was one of the ones who overdid it every time. We all over did it, but he overdid it every single time. He wasn't the only one though, and even I was accused of being over the edge (although that is debatable). Even after I moved away from Boston and our drug use had slowed (or stopped alltogether, depending on who we're talking about) he told me I was the only one who gave him shit about how much he did. It was flattering, but I didn't really care. I knew he never listened, it was like talking to a three year old. There were times where he avoided my ass because I wouldn't get off it. Then there were the times where I was right there with him, and everybody else. waiting for Charlie to get back to the apartment, and crowding around the table as he broke big bags into littler bags and saved the big pieces to free base.

This was all a very long time ago, over half a decade. It doesn't seem like more then a year or two. If this happened then, I'd be pissed. I'd would be pissed and say "You should have listened!" Today I don't feel that. I'm not sure how I feel about it.I got a little choked up earlier, but not totally sad. I feel half sad, and half "Dude, *shrug* I told you so."

This is not the first time I have known someone who has died tragically. The first one was when I was in 7th grade, and they have been dropping dead ever sense. This is the first person in a long time that I have known for this long, and was that close with at one time. The wake will be in a couple of days. I would really like to go, but it's very far and I don't think I could afford it. I've never met his family before though. It would be interesting to say the least.

Sleep Well Chris Meszaros. You dead son of a bitch, I told you this was going to happen.