I have become intrigued. And that's bad.
Intrigue leads to things. Bad things. Not always, but it'd be bad this time around.
I am suffering a person vs. self conflict, and I have not yet found a way to make it better. I am torn between myself and the world. I always am. I should be used to this. I have found my love, for better or for worse, and for three years I have been in storybook bliss, along with all the standard hardships of an actual human relationship. Overall, it's groovy.
And yet I'm constantly hearing about my single friends, and not-so-single friends and their sexual escapades. I have never wanted a one-night-stand, nor am I looking for an "out" so I can have some relationship "freedom" but I do love to get to know people, and whatever my alterior motives may be, I like learning about people.
Here's my specific conflict: I already know I'm in a wonderful relationship, and the odds of finding anything better don't exist. I'd have to go into a coma and live in a dream world for anything better. But, I have always been a rather monogamous person, and find it hard to relate to those who have spent most their adult lives dating. Do I need this experience? Do I want this experience? I don't need to lose something to know how great I had it, so if I don't need it, and I know I don't want it, why does it have to bug me all the time?
There's this girl. She just started working at my store. Her eyes are incredible. They look like creamy caramel, and she has this sexy little mohawk. Her name is Cynthia. I had met my coworker's wife, Shawn, outside, and we decided we'd wait inside for her lady, Kat, to finish working, and buy some chips. Well, Shawn and I go through the line where Cynthia was bagging, and Shawn told me later she was giving me "fuck me" eyes, and giving Shawn "you better just be friends" eyes.
Am I flattered? Hell yes! Am I awkward? Always when it comes to crushes. What do I do? I'm in a relationship, without problems, and I'm not looking for anyone. This Cynthia girl is still mysterious, and I have yet to have a real conversation with her, but I get the feeling, should anything happen, I'd get taken advantage of(not in a good way) and I'd still have to work with her, albeit not directly, but still.
Grrrah! I'm confused, I'm slightly horny, and I feel somewhat ashamed, for having such lustful thoughts, when I have no concious intention on acting on them.
Intrigue leads to things. Bad things. Not always, but it'd be bad this time around.
I am suffering a person vs. self conflict, and I have not yet found a way to make it better. I am torn between myself and the world. I always am. I should be used to this. I have found my love, for better or for worse, and for three years I have been in storybook bliss, along with all the standard hardships of an actual human relationship. Overall, it's groovy.
And yet I'm constantly hearing about my single friends, and not-so-single friends and their sexual escapades. I have never wanted a one-night-stand, nor am I looking for an "out" so I can have some relationship "freedom" but I do love to get to know people, and whatever my alterior motives may be, I like learning about people.
Here's my specific conflict: I already know I'm in a wonderful relationship, and the odds of finding anything better don't exist. I'd have to go into a coma and live in a dream world for anything better. But, I have always been a rather monogamous person, and find it hard to relate to those who have spent most their adult lives dating. Do I need this experience? Do I want this experience? I don't need to lose something to know how great I had it, so if I don't need it, and I know I don't want it, why does it have to bug me all the time?
There's this girl. She just started working at my store. Her eyes are incredible. They look like creamy caramel, and she has this sexy little mohawk. Her name is Cynthia. I had met my coworker's wife, Shawn, outside, and we decided we'd wait inside for her lady, Kat, to finish working, and buy some chips. Well, Shawn and I go through the line where Cynthia was bagging, and Shawn told me later she was giving me "fuck me" eyes, and giving Shawn "you better just be friends" eyes.
Am I flattered? Hell yes! Am I awkward? Always when it comes to crushes. What do I do? I'm in a relationship, without problems, and I'm not looking for anyone. This Cynthia girl is still mysterious, and I have yet to have a real conversation with her, but I get the feeling, should anything happen, I'd get taken advantage of(not in a good way) and I'd still have to work with her, albeit not directly, but still.
Grrrah! I'm confused, I'm slightly horny, and I feel somewhat ashamed, for having such lustful thoughts, when I have no concious intention on acting on them.
you're human, thats all. congratulations on joining the rest of us. it's nice here.