This is a complex question. There were so many reasons that inspired me, that I will try to translate all this mixture of feelings and motivations in a blog not very boring, I promise that I will try rs. First of all I believe that above all I have to summarize a bit of my experience as a person. I was raised in an extremely religious home full of misconceptions about a woman's place. I have always been called "different," because of my tastes, because of my non-acceptance of the submissive place they imposed on me, about the absurd idea that a woman should serve to have children and be her husband's servant only.
They put these ideas in my head since I was a child. That I could not behave this way, because no man would want me like this. Because it was not the way God wanted me to be. Because it was sin and being different was unacceptable. And then I decided to leave the house, with a suitcase and the world full of possibilities ... and I went straight into an abusive and violent relationship. Ok, the rebellion did not work because I still thought like a child and I fell in love with someone who claimed to be what was not. Again I had several bans. Again I hated my body for not being the standard he wanted.
Again I was in a cyclone of hatred, swearing, scorn, and I did not feel myself. How to be different from the standard imposed by a man. And then I started to notice the alternative models. Women who broke patterns. They struggled to unleash the ideals of beauty accepted by all. They were beautiful even though they were "different." They showed in their pictures, in their art, their strength. And I decided to be one of them. The way was long to get out of the hell I was in. The way was too long to love me again. To accept and see beauty in my curves and attitudes. The way was long to lose my fear and see my first set in my hands. The first photos nude, full, full and being like the women who both helped me find me. I'm hopeful. I'm at the beginning of the road still. But I'm already grateful for the strength to get out of the way and get to be among such incredible women. And the summary of that whole long story is: I wanted to be suicide girl. For the freedom to be who I am. For the beauty of being different. By the possibility of marking people with my personality. By force. By the shock of breaking taboos.
Because I can finally be me.
With love, much love.
Rockett Lyn <3
@rambo & @missy thanks for this theme <3
