Last night was my work christmas party. I have been away for a year and come back and go to the party ....etc etc....
I don't like what happened though. I don't like the attention that i recieved from 3 of the girls last night. It is flattering and all, but it was too much, why must i be dragged into stupid little games where they fight and bitch and try to "get " me. I am just the same person and honestly not worth the time. Of course there were the real friends that treated me as a person, but why the fuck do these silly little girls compete when i am not into any of them now, nor have I ever been.
I almost want to go back to when i was an insecure, nerdy 16 y/o who couldn't even look at a girl without scaring them away.......
...... I just wanted to be left alone listening to bad karaoke and drinking my rum while waiting for a phone call from a girl that captivated me for my year while in canada ....it never came ......
Destined for disappointment, i always seem to look for what i desire but can't have, and when offered what i shouldn't and couldn't do i refuse.
The right decision is one i seldom make and when i make it i feel good for a short while, but that soon turns to despare as i go home alone in the absence of a smile and a good hug.............
...................Somewhere, sometime in the future all this will seem futile, but as for now there is nothing but sadness in my heqart as i feel less a person, more a thing.....
I just want someone special but apparently i am not good enough to be something special for a special someone.
.......Shit ....I can really speak some shit......
But emotions are just that, shit, and when i share them my problems always seem to be less severe and just words written on a screen and when that screen changes who knows where the fuck my emotions go......
cyberspace, displayed as only words for people to read...if they care i don't know.... i don't care
the future is now, or is it tomorrow, time is but a concept, just like age and feelings.......forever changing, twisting progressing on this rollercoaster some call life.
Enough bullshit for now.......who reads this shit anyway
I don't like what happened though. I don't like the attention that i recieved from 3 of the girls last night. It is flattering and all, but it was too much, why must i be dragged into stupid little games where they fight and bitch and try to "get " me. I am just the same person and honestly not worth the time. Of course there were the real friends that treated me as a person, but why the fuck do these silly little girls compete when i am not into any of them now, nor have I ever been.
I almost want to go back to when i was an insecure, nerdy 16 y/o who couldn't even look at a girl without scaring them away.......
...... I just wanted to be left alone listening to bad karaoke and drinking my rum while waiting for a phone call from a girl that captivated me for my year while in canada ....it never came ......
Destined for disappointment, i always seem to look for what i desire but can't have, and when offered what i shouldn't and couldn't do i refuse.
The right decision is one i seldom make and when i make it i feel good for a short while, but that soon turns to despare as i go home alone in the absence of a smile and a good hug.............
...................Somewhere, sometime in the future all this will seem futile, but as for now there is nothing but sadness in my heqart as i feel less a person, more a thing.....
I just want someone special but apparently i am not good enough to be something special for a special someone.
.......Shit ....I can really speak some shit......
But emotions are just that, shit, and when i share them my problems always seem to be less severe and just words written on a screen and when that screen changes who knows where the fuck my emotions go......
cyberspace, displayed as only words for people to read...if they care i don't know.... i don't care
the future is now, or is it tomorrow, time is but a concept, just like age and feelings.......forever changing, twisting progressing on this rollercoaster some call life.
Enough bullshit for now.......who reads this shit anyway
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
ennea:
its a bar. it WAS a bar. my tongue web ripped today =( how bout yours?
aaronsrod:
Brissy Chrissy Hookup hope we see you there mate