My "Marina" Adventure: Why I don't go out much.
So, went to see a Giants game for the first time today. Sweet box seats, great game. Giants win! Success. The girls were doing dinner and a movie later so, to kill some time, we headed down to the Marina area. I don't know this area but...... they tell me there are lots of douche-bag guys and hot, stupid girls who love them. Sounds like 90% of the places I lived in the northeast. This should be fun. The girls went off to their movie and I stopped into a very nice establishment. The bartenders were super-cool and laughed when I said I'd heard the scene was "interesting". They thought interesting was putting it kindly. I'm there 15 minutes and the Jersey Shore wanna-be's in the corner are already acting up. Loud as fcuk girls, and two dudes yelling. Girls shrieking. I'd rather be punched in the face than be in that corner. The manager asks em to quiet down. Enter group two. One large breasted young lady who, I'm repeatedly told by her flamboyantly, mostly gay, friend, has been violated in every way possible by said, mostly gay friend. ??? Also, Irish girl who talked sassy and tough and was an Irish snob. "If it's not Irish it's crap!!!" Also, bi-guy and Barack Obama. The dude looked exactly like a young BO. Lastly, enter...... Bat-Shit Fucking Crazy Older French Lady. Seriously.
So...... mostly gay guy is regaling me stories about large breasted girls areolas. I'm sure they're lovely. He's also noticed my pectoral region. Apparently he's a breast woman. The French lady is injecting herself into the various groups including the Jersey Shore crowd. Irish is explaining to me how I'm not really Irish because I wasn't born there and there's no such thing as Celtic or Gauls because no one in Ireland uses these terms. They say it's all Irish. "But what about the history books and the fact that there were people who called themselves Celts and Gauls?" Doesn't matter. People in Ireland today just say Irish so there's no such thing as Celts or Gauls. Right! I'm ready to leave. But no! The signal to the bartender intended to mean "Check" was interpreted as "One more Beer Please". Fcuk. Bat-Shit Crazy French Lady walks back into the Jersey Shore corner and appears to punch one of the guys. No, she didn't appear to punch him, she punched him. He starts losing his shit and threatening to beat her up. Snookie and the girls start acting up. I suggest that the smaller members of party number 2 back up so that, when security inevitably comes and a scuffle ensues, they don't get smooshed. As I predicted......... Snookie, while being escorted out looks at Irish and says, "I'll kick your ass bitch! I'll kick your ass!!" to which Irish says "but i've never seen you before in my life". Irish doesn't realize that this is no matter for classless snookie. "I'll kick your ass!" So they're out the door. Snookie yells through the open window, "I'll be here when you come out bitch!!" Irish is clearly traumatized and not nearly as tough as she pretends. Out of nowhere, fat guy comes running back into the bar and goes right for Barack Obama! Snookie's sidekick runs in and hurls a pint glass at the manager! Eventually they're tossed out and everyone is encouraged to look away from the trainwreck. Bat-Shit Crazy French Lady is nowhere to be seen. Flamboyant, mostly gay guy is punching me in the arm and insisting that I punch him back. He says that he thinks I'm a good guy who could crush a guy like him. I am quite certain that we've discovered his "thing". I finally sign my check, tell the bartender I had a lovely time and would probably never see him again and exit. Curtains close.
So, went to see a Giants game for the first time today. Sweet box seats, great game. Giants win! Success. The girls were doing dinner and a movie later so, to kill some time, we headed down to the Marina area. I don't know this area but...... they tell me there are lots of douche-bag guys and hot, stupid girls who love them. Sounds like 90% of the places I lived in the northeast. This should be fun. The girls went off to their movie and I stopped into a very nice establishment. The bartenders were super-cool and laughed when I said I'd heard the scene was "interesting". They thought interesting was putting it kindly. I'm there 15 minutes and the Jersey Shore wanna-be's in the corner are already acting up. Loud as fcuk girls, and two dudes yelling. Girls shrieking. I'd rather be punched in the face than be in that corner. The manager asks em to quiet down. Enter group two. One large breasted young lady who, I'm repeatedly told by her flamboyantly, mostly gay, friend, has been violated in every way possible by said, mostly gay friend. ??? Also, Irish girl who talked sassy and tough and was an Irish snob. "If it's not Irish it's crap!!!" Also, bi-guy and Barack Obama. The dude looked exactly like a young BO. Lastly, enter...... Bat-Shit Fucking Crazy Older French Lady. Seriously.
So...... mostly gay guy is regaling me stories about large breasted girls areolas. I'm sure they're lovely. He's also noticed my pectoral region. Apparently he's a breast woman. The French lady is injecting herself into the various groups including the Jersey Shore crowd. Irish is explaining to me how I'm not really Irish because I wasn't born there and there's no such thing as Celtic or Gauls because no one in Ireland uses these terms. They say it's all Irish. "But what about the history books and the fact that there were people who called themselves Celts and Gauls?" Doesn't matter. People in Ireland today just say Irish so there's no such thing as Celts or Gauls. Right! I'm ready to leave. But no! The signal to the bartender intended to mean "Check" was interpreted as "One more Beer Please". Fcuk. Bat-Shit Crazy French Lady walks back into the Jersey Shore corner and appears to punch one of the guys. No, she didn't appear to punch him, she punched him. He starts losing his shit and threatening to beat her up. Snookie and the girls start acting up. I suggest that the smaller members of party number 2 back up so that, when security inevitably comes and a scuffle ensues, they don't get smooshed. As I predicted......... Snookie, while being escorted out looks at Irish and says, "I'll kick your ass bitch! I'll kick your ass!!" to which Irish says "but i've never seen you before in my life". Irish doesn't realize that this is no matter for classless snookie. "I'll kick your ass!" So they're out the door. Snookie yells through the open window, "I'll be here when you come out bitch!!" Irish is clearly traumatized and not nearly as tough as she pretends. Out of nowhere, fat guy comes running back into the bar and goes right for Barack Obama! Snookie's sidekick runs in and hurls a pint glass at the manager! Eventually they're tossed out and everyone is encouraged to look away from the trainwreck. Bat-Shit Crazy French Lady is nowhere to be seen. Flamboyant, mostly gay guy is punching me in the arm and insisting that I punch him back. He says that he thinks I'm a good guy who could crush a guy like him. I am quite certain that we've discovered his "thing". I finally sign my check, tell the bartender I had a lovely time and would probably never see him again and exit. Curtains close.
I would love, love, love to see a football game this year. It's one of my favourite parts of being off of ships> Football every Sunday!!