*sigh* I'm so messed up. One moment I feel really good and hopeful...the next so dpressed...the next cold...the next angry.
She's spending the weekend with this new guy she's "seeing" and it tears me up.
I understand she has to explore other relationships...she's very young and hadn't really had a real relationship before me. I'm very grateful that she was honest with me and told me she needed the break to see other people instead of doing it behind my back like every other girlfriend I've had.
She stilll loves me and plans on visiting next weekend...which is going to be so hard. Her being with someone else...no matter how understanding I am...is grinding the pieces of my broken heart into a fine bitter powder.
I'm cleaning this weekend. It's tough because I keep finding her stuff...and putting it in the ever growing pile. She doesn't want to pick up her stuff...or me to send it to her...just keep it here because she plans on us getting back together.
I was angry and bitter about that at first but...in truth as long as her stuff is here my heart has hope so I had wanted to keep it here.
I'm really really scared about not having her be in my life...and I know she always will be but I mean as my love and lover.
On an egotistical note I know I'm really awsome and she won;t find anyone better than me. Not because she don't deserve better...but because I'm the best.
ON that note of attempted self improvement I'm gonna go clean more.
I hope you are all well. And as always, if anyone needs anything please let me know.
Take care.
Remember- "A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said no. She asked him if he wanted her, he said no. She asked him if she left would he cry, he said no. She turned to leave, when he grabbed her arm and said, "You're not pretty; you're beautiful. I don't want you; I need you. And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die..."
She's spending the weekend with this new guy she's "seeing" and it tears me up.
I understand she has to explore other relationships...she's very young and hadn't really had a real relationship before me. I'm very grateful that she was honest with me and told me she needed the break to see other people instead of doing it behind my back like every other girlfriend I've had.
She stilll loves me and plans on visiting next weekend...which is going to be so hard. Her being with someone else...no matter how understanding I am...is grinding the pieces of my broken heart into a fine bitter powder.
I'm cleaning this weekend. It's tough because I keep finding her stuff...and putting it in the ever growing pile. She doesn't want to pick up her stuff...or me to send it to her...just keep it here because she plans on us getting back together.
I was angry and bitter about that at first but...in truth as long as her stuff is here my heart has hope so I had wanted to keep it here.
I'm really really scared about not having her be in my life...and I know she always will be but I mean as my love and lover.
On an egotistical note I know I'm really awsome and she won;t find anyone better than me. Not because she don't deserve better...but because I'm the best.
ON that note of attempted self improvement I'm gonna go clean more.
I hope you are all well. And as always, if anyone needs anything please let me know.
Take care.
Remember- "A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said no. She asked him if he wanted her, he said no. She asked him if she left would he cry, he said no. She turned to leave, when he grabbed her arm and said, "You're not pretty; you're beautiful. I don't want you; I need you. And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die..."
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
his birthday is next week and i still have gifts for him...which he's going to get, which he knows he is going to get. all i can do now is try to realise that things are over and just try to move on...
on another note...we have the same birthday! that's pretty cool, right?
[Edited on Dec 14, 2004 5:17PM]