robotfuckface

i told mary about my feelings for you. she says i need to make a choice soon.

I hope you make it an easy one.

You've got this. I know you do.

I'm thinking about you.

last thought before i fell asleep
first thought when i woke up
and every thought since
smashing my head to pieces
probably wouldnt change a fucking thing

i hate myself for this
i hate myself for this
i hate myself for this
i hate myself for this

i'm going numb until further notice. the one thing i want right now i can't have. my life is a lie and a sad little joke.

when i met you, i was sleep walking. i'm going back to sleep. i hope you wake me up again soon.

I am totally going to fail my mtel.

It has been a less than ideal day.




Fuck.

I guess she isn't "too fucked up" for a relationship anymore.

I wish it didn't hurt so fucking much. It's a terrible sign.

I never wanted any of this. I never should have let you leave.

one more poem for you
one more for your collection
another scrap of paper
that he can go and crumple

oh the things i would have done
and oh the things i did
and how at night in blackest dark
and clutch these tattered pieces to my chest

regret
regret
such a gaudy crown i wear for you
so heavy
that my chin is scraping...
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is this really what you want?

so at the behest of my friend lira, who is the biggest of my three "fans," i have established a myspace for all the music i've been writing about everything i've gone through in the last month or two.

so... give in to that morbid curiosity and click to listen to Collapsicon. some of it is only slightly awful.

oh. and tell me what...
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try to focus on the moment
try to smell these plastic roses
to survive off wax fruit and cardboard cutout cakes
doing my best to convince myself that when i breathe in deep
this air is more than smog and smoke

she could be a movie star
she could be a model
an angel, a devil
she could be my twin

no one is anyone...
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