robotfuckface

i've begun to turn my life around. it's making me very happy. better still, it's making the people i care about want to be close to me again. quitting smoking, testing my blood, saving my money, eating right... all of these things are beginning to feel natural. life for the past week or so has been very, very good.

and i have her to thank.

i'm as single as a person can be.
all human females beware.

my ability to maintain human relationships is at an all time low. i really don't want to think it's my fault, but i'm the common denominator in all these failed interactions, so i have to be realistic. i'm pretty overwhelmed by how much in my life is broken. it's getting to the point where i call it a good day when something doesn't completely collapse...
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i should really stop crashing my car. for real. it's getting a bit old.

dear everyone,

i just read the last six months of blogs. it very much made me want to kill myself.

love,
randall

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of...
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things are going to be so good. just you wait and see, kitten.

always with the best intentions
always with the worst of timing
always making some mistake
but always always trying trying

i know that you dont want to hear this
i know that you would rather hide
but something huge inside me's moving
impossible to keep inside

the temperature is quickly rising
a degree each time i call your name
and though i should not show...
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i'm a heartbeat from just racing down there.

for now, i will just focus on breathing.


but god i want her.