i'm so glad i'm here.
yuffie (she doesn't want me giving out her name. i don't like actually call her yuffie.) and i are having a really good time. she's incredible. i'm totally retarded for her. like... a bunch.
the ride down was sort of a kick in the face. fifteen hours of straight driving. by the time i was here, i'd been up 26 hours, so my hallucinations were awwwwesome. lets just say ET and Tron made appearances. but not to worry, i only almost died like... fifteen times. this one puddle reeeally tried to fuck me into a truck, but i'm no puddle's bitch. oh... and apparently in maryland, if you go down this wrong road, there's a hurricane. yeah. lots of rain. lots of car accidents on all sides of me. good times.
so i get to her house and she's sitting at the top of her driveway, looking all 3d in her hoodie. i sat down beside her and expected tons of awkwardness. not a drop. it's surreal how at ease i am around her. like... i'm in her kitchen and she's making ravioli and its just... right.
she took me to this place called zaxby's. soooo fucking good. they have this sauce which is apparently made of anchovies but tastes like a hug from santa. then we went to a thrift store where yuff bought a bizarre and somewhat horrible stuffed animal. oh! and yesterday she made me this stuff called breakfast bread! SOO good.. that tastes like if santa gave you a blowjob.
we watched 500 days of summer together. yuffie goes on and on about how much she hates whats her name's character, but i hate the guy for trying to bend the girl into something she didn't want to be. [ignores the raised eyebrows] the part with the expectations/reality double screen... so good.
so you know how people have phobias? yeah. people are scared of stuff, and that's cool. i'm claustrophobic. and a little acrophobic. well, yuffie has a phobia of clowns. this shouldn't be something that i can trip over. i mean really, i'm not a clown. i don't own any clown stuff. so how is it I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY SHOWING HER PICTURES OF FUCKING CLOWNS!?!?! WTF! it's insane! it's be like if she were allergic to peanuts and suddenly i started SNEEZING PEANUTS!!! I MEAN HOW IS IT EVERYTHING I TOUCH SUDDENLY BLOOMS INTO A CLOWN OR CLOWNS HOP OUT OF MY IPHONE OR I GO TO SHOW HER SOMETHING AND I FORGET ITS A CLOWN COLLEGE DOCUMENTARY?? WTF!? AM I BEING FOLLOWED!? WHO'S DOING THIS!? TELL ME YOUR NAME GODDAMN YOU!!!! [shuddery breath] you should have heard my original monologue about this. much more... flapping and screeching.
right now she's over her cousins watching her second cousin who's this adorable little baby. i'm listening to her talking to him on the phone and my god it's cute. really. it's making my brain melt.
i'm having a really great time. thanks to everyone who posted a comment of support or listened to me rant about how much i like her or the obstacles that stood between us getting together. you kids kick ass and i promise i'll make santa give you twice as many blowjobs for christmas.
yuffie (she doesn't want me giving out her name. i don't like actually call her yuffie.) and i are having a really good time. she's incredible. i'm totally retarded for her. like... a bunch.
the ride down was sort of a kick in the face. fifteen hours of straight driving. by the time i was here, i'd been up 26 hours, so my hallucinations were awwwwesome. lets just say ET and Tron made appearances. but not to worry, i only almost died like... fifteen times. this one puddle reeeally tried to fuck me into a truck, but i'm no puddle's bitch. oh... and apparently in maryland, if you go down this wrong road, there's a hurricane. yeah. lots of rain. lots of car accidents on all sides of me. good times.
so i get to her house and she's sitting at the top of her driveway, looking all 3d in her hoodie. i sat down beside her and expected tons of awkwardness. not a drop. it's surreal how at ease i am around her. like... i'm in her kitchen and she's making ravioli and its just... right.
she took me to this place called zaxby's. soooo fucking good. they have this sauce which is apparently made of anchovies but tastes like a hug from santa. then we went to a thrift store where yuff bought a bizarre and somewhat horrible stuffed animal. oh! and yesterday she made me this stuff called breakfast bread! SOO good.. that tastes like if santa gave you a blowjob.
we watched 500 days of summer together. yuffie goes on and on about how much she hates whats her name's character, but i hate the guy for trying to bend the girl into something she didn't want to be. [ignores the raised eyebrows] the part with the expectations/reality double screen... so good.
so you know how people have phobias? yeah. people are scared of stuff, and that's cool. i'm claustrophobic. and a little acrophobic. well, yuffie has a phobia of clowns. this shouldn't be something that i can trip over. i mean really, i'm not a clown. i don't own any clown stuff. so how is it I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY SHOWING HER PICTURES OF FUCKING CLOWNS!?!?! WTF! it's insane! it's be like if she were allergic to peanuts and suddenly i started SNEEZING PEANUTS!!! I MEAN HOW IS IT EVERYTHING I TOUCH SUDDENLY BLOOMS INTO A CLOWN OR CLOWNS HOP OUT OF MY IPHONE OR I GO TO SHOW HER SOMETHING AND I FORGET ITS A CLOWN COLLEGE DOCUMENTARY?? WTF!? AM I BEING FOLLOWED!? WHO'S DOING THIS!? TELL ME YOUR NAME GODDAMN YOU!!!! [shuddery breath] you should have heard my original monologue about this. much more... flapping and screeching.
right now she's over her cousins watching her second cousin who's this adorable little baby. i'm listening to her talking to him on the phone and my god it's cute. really. it's making my brain melt.
i'm having a really great time. thanks to everyone who posted a comment of support or listened to me rant about how much i like her or the obstacles that stood between us getting together. you kids kick ass and i promise i'll make santa give you twice as many blowjobs for christmas.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Just sayin.
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