List time, because I refuse to subject you to a deluge of angst. Instead, here are easy to swallow tablets of information!
1.) I think I aced my prison guard exam, though a bunch of other people must've as well since it was so damned easy. Questions ranged from, "Prisoner A is crying and rocking himself in a fetal position while prisoner B, who has asthma, cannot breath. Who is the greater priority?" to "Which memo most adequately sums up this series of events?" There were also a bunch of questions about the quickest way from point A to point B and a thing where you had to memorize as many details as you could about a picture. If I do well enough to get a job, I'm supposed to pull in like 30k a year + benefits for willingly locking myself in with dangerous criminals!
2.) Unfortunately, the exam only counts for NYC, so I'd have to live there instead of Boston. I don't like NY that much (gritty?), but it might be worth it for enough money to support myself...
3.) I haven't even gotten my test results back, though, so I don't think it's worth it to think about it now. I could also see if similar jobs are available in Boston.
4.) My dad hasn't mentioned talking to my counselor to me, but he has mentioned stuff she would've talked to him about. It seems he's passing it off as though he knows all these intimate details about me simply by virtue of being my father. He's also telling everybody, from his girlfriend to my uncles to everyone else in his phonebook, about how I want to go to Boston. I really don't get what that is. Is he showing off the fact that he knows stuff about me? It kind of feel like I'm being mocked, but with my self-image being what it is I don't know if that can be trusted.
5.) He doesn't support my going to Boston either, nor does my mom (she found out through him, I guess). He wants me to get the prison job and live in New York while she wants me to go back to school because I won't survive otherwise. Like I said, the correction officer in NY thing has its appeal (assuming I can get it). Going back to school couldn't work for me, though. I'm still the same person and I'll still fall into the same traps of despondency like I did every semester. I know, there's probably some way to avoid it. I'm just not much of a fighter.
6.) Also, it's my dad's estimation that I'm not so much clinically depressed as I am simply a negative person (as I have been since I was born and will be until I die). That's a total crock, considering I used to be a happy little bastard. Used to smart too. Bleh. Anyway, there's been no mention of my receiving counseling (which my therapist said she brought up with him) and my mom thinks I can cure myself by taking Vitamin B-12 (her hatred of modern medicine and love of vitamins oddly coincides with Tom Cruise's recent tv appearances) while my dad wants me to take some friendly bacteria, or something. I told him I'd lick a toilet seat instead, citing the fact that that bacteria must be friendly because I can feel it dancing in my tongue.
7.) I think I've gotten past blaming my parents for things that aren't their fault, though. Yay for glimmers of maturity.
8.) Conversational tidbits from my dad on the way to the optometrist.
a.) It's a woman's world. All the men encouraged to act timid and submissive like women.
b.) All women are gold diggers, and even if they start out with gold it just makes them want platinum. Of course, I was recently convinced by a friend that gold digging is actually an admirable skill so I don't blame them.
9.) I forgot how much I like Jake Gyllenhaal and Lisa Marie Presley. Like to look at them, I mean.
1.) I think I aced my prison guard exam, though a bunch of other people must've as well since it was so damned easy. Questions ranged from, "Prisoner A is crying and rocking himself in a fetal position while prisoner B, who has asthma, cannot breath. Who is the greater priority?" to "Which memo most adequately sums up this series of events?" There were also a bunch of questions about the quickest way from point A to point B and a thing where you had to memorize as many details as you could about a picture. If I do well enough to get a job, I'm supposed to pull in like 30k a year + benefits for willingly locking myself in with dangerous criminals!
2.) Unfortunately, the exam only counts for NYC, so I'd have to live there instead of Boston. I don't like NY that much (gritty?), but it might be worth it for enough money to support myself...
3.) I haven't even gotten my test results back, though, so I don't think it's worth it to think about it now. I could also see if similar jobs are available in Boston.
4.) My dad hasn't mentioned talking to my counselor to me, but he has mentioned stuff she would've talked to him about. It seems he's passing it off as though he knows all these intimate details about me simply by virtue of being my father. He's also telling everybody, from his girlfriend to my uncles to everyone else in his phonebook, about how I want to go to Boston. I really don't get what that is. Is he showing off the fact that he knows stuff about me? It kind of feel like I'm being mocked, but with my self-image being what it is I don't know if that can be trusted.
5.) He doesn't support my going to Boston either, nor does my mom (she found out through him, I guess). He wants me to get the prison job and live in New York while she wants me to go back to school because I won't survive otherwise. Like I said, the correction officer in NY thing has its appeal (assuming I can get it). Going back to school couldn't work for me, though. I'm still the same person and I'll still fall into the same traps of despondency like I did every semester. I know, there's probably some way to avoid it. I'm just not much of a fighter.
6.) Also, it's my dad's estimation that I'm not so much clinically depressed as I am simply a negative person (as I have been since I was born and will be until I die). That's a total crock, considering I used to be a happy little bastard. Used to smart too. Bleh. Anyway, there's been no mention of my receiving counseling (which my therapist said she brought up with him) and my mom thinks I can cure myself by taking Vitamin B-12 (her hatred of modern medicine and love of vitamins oddly coincides with Tom Cruise's recent tv appearances) while my dad wants me to take some friendly bacteria, or something. I told him I'd lick a toilet seat instead, citing the fact that that bacteria must be friendly because I can feel it dancing in my tongue.
7.) I think I've gotten past blaming my parents for things that aren't their fault, though. Yay for glimmers of maturity.
8.) Conversational tidbits from my dad on the way to the optometrist.
a.) It's a woman's world. All the men encouraged to act timid and submissive like women.
b.) All women are gold diggers, and even if they start out with gold it just makes them want platinum. Of course, I was recently convinced by a friend that gold digging is actually an admirable skill so I don't blame them.
9.) I forgot how much I like Jake Gyllenhaal and Lisa Marie Presley. Like to look at them, I mean.
And if so, does one need to be in the rythym section to join the Purple Gang?
And is Prince a member of the Purple Gang, seeing as how purple is his favorite color?
And it always made me curious about the dubious nature of The King's sexuality when he says that jailbird number twenty three is the cutest little jailbird that he ever did see, because so far as I know, he could only have been talking about a man because there are no co-ed prisons.
So, if you get the job, let me know.