Hi guys. Everyone on this site is super-cool, so I'm embarrassed to say anything about music for fear of looking like a fucking moron. I'm just going throw the word sexy out there and say I enjoyed the show.
Also, my mom is repulsed by me (which places me below the face only a mother could love status, now doesn't it?)
Ha ha, I wish I was dead.
Because I can pinpoint where I went wrong with my life, and there's no taking it back. Still, I live because I'm uninteresting and suicide is for cool people who actually have something to lose. I'll die a bland death that won't even warrant an obituary. Fuck, I bet I die at the end of the world and don't even get a funeral.
The worst part is I can't even find God. I mean, if I'm just going to live my stupid, unassuming life I fucking need religion in there to justify it. But noooo.... If you took the time to research (and I wouldn't expect you to), you might see me saying some negative things about religion. The truth is that that's just me exposing all my doubts so that someone, anyone can prove them wrong. Maybe you're thinking "well gosh, if you have so many doubts why don't you just accept that there is no fucking God?" Well, my best friend is a Christian and I think too highly of her to consider the possibility that she's that misguided. Then there's my Dad, who I hate but also want so desperately to just act like a fucking Dad and save me from myself, who also believes. Hell, my mom and step-dad recently converted and I just hate them for it. I mean, what's with these fucking people who can just completely change their view of the world because they want a job transfer and need to appeal to a higher source for it? Why can't I just believe whatever the hell I want without having to prove things to myself? It's like control over yourself is an illusion. I tried to stop my heart, but it wouldn't. Am I even running this freakshow?
And yeah, don't take me for a fool. I know religion's a crutch (though I don't want to know it). I know I just want to feel loved by someone, and to have someone to turn to who I can actually expect some degree of understanding and actual, genuine sympathy from. Even if it's just an imaginary friend. Fuck, 50 bajillion assholes with hymnals can't be wrong anyway, right?
But it never works, and the most common opinion (among Christians) is that a failure to convert is a fault of self. It's pride, or whatever. It couldn't be that God doesn't actually want you. Well fuck then, thanks for adding to my paranoid thoughts about a rebellious body. Geez, isn't it enough to just say, "Hey you Bastard Lord, fill me with some of that Holy Fucking Spriti?" It's an invitation. That should be enough to make anyone who exists come. The only logical answer is that God just doesn't exist, and I'm acting like a fucking loser. Great, but what else am I supposed to do?
Quit whining? Gather up the courage to make sure that I can't still pick up my shit baby dumbass pieces and actually do what I should've done in the first place? Actually live life with some trace of the passion with which life deserves to be lived? I'd fucking love to, but you know I'm scared and, probably forever, what I really want to do is just do things like I did in college. Spend so much time sleeping that the days just pass by without enough notoriety for me to remember them. With the right routine, you can live your life without ever realizing you're alive.
If you actually read this shit and want compensation, I'll send you a dollar in the mail.
Also, my mom is repulsed by me (which places me below the face only a mother could love status, now doesn't it?)
Ha ha, I wish I was dead.
Because I can pinpoint where I went wrong with my life, and there's no taking it back. Still, I live because I'm uninteresting and suicide is for cool people who actually have something to lose. I'll die a bland death that won't even warrant an obituary. Fuck, I bet I die at the end of the world and don't even get a funeral.
The worst part is I can't even find God. I mean, if I'm just going to live my stupid, unassuming life I fucking need religion in there to justify it. But noooo.... If you took the time to research (and I wouldn't expect you to), you might see me saying some negative things about religion. The truth is that that's just me exposing all my doubts so that someone, anyone can prove them wrong. Maybe you're thinking "well gosh, if you have so many doubts why don't you just accept that there is no fucking God?" Well, my best friend is a Christian and I think too highly of her to consider the possibility that she's that misguided. Then there's my Dad, who I hate but also want so desperately to just act like a fucking Dad and save me from myself, who also believes. Hell, my mom and step-dad recently converted and I just hate them for it. I mean, what's with these fucking people who can just completely change their view of the world because they want a job transfer and need to appeal to a higher source for it? Why can't I just believe whatever the hell I want without having to prove things to myself? It's like control over yourself is an illusion. I tried to stop my heart, but it wouldn't. Am I even running this freakshow?
And yeah, don't take me for a fool. I know religion's a crutch (though I don't want to know it). I know I just want to feel loved by someone, and to have someone to turn to who I can actually expect some degree of understanding and actual, genuine sympathy from. Even if it's just an imaginary friend. Fuck, 50 bajillion assholes with hymnals can't be wrong anyway, right?
But it never works, and the most common opinion (among Christians) is that a failure to convert is a fault of self. It's pride, or whatever. It couldn't be that God doesn't actually want you. Well fuck then, thanks for adding to my paranoid thoughts about a rebellious body. Geez, isn't it enough to just say, "Hey you Bastard Lord, fill me with some of that Holy Fucking Spriti?" It's an invitation. That should be enough to make anyone who exists come. The only logical answer is that God just doesn't exist, and I'm acting like a fucking loser. Great, but what else am I supposed to do?
Quit whining? Gather up the courage to make sure that I can't still pick up my shit baby dumbass pieces and actually do what I should've done in the first place? Actually live life with some trace of the passion with which life deserves to be lived? I'd fucking love to, but you know I'm scared and, probably forever, what I really want to do is just do things like I did in college. Spend so much time sleeping that the days just pass by without enough notoriety for me to remember them. With the right routine, you can live your life without ever realizing you're alive.
If you actually read this shit and want compensation, I'll send you a dollar in the mail.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Don't die, we have stuffs to talk about!
Isn't it fun to think that you could come back as a monkey or a duck?
Or a rat (Because they cannot vomit)
I think I would want to come back as an amoeba.
For some reason, I think that the life of an amoeba must be a blast.
Oh, or even better, a virus.
I like the idea of making people sick.
That just seems like alot of fun.
I mean, I already make people sick but I think I would be much more effective as a virus.
Or maybe you could come back as a gorilla.
I think you have a much better chance at fulfilling your dream of punching out a gorilla if you are a gorilla yourself.
At the very least, I'm sure you would be able to knock a badger out or something.