California is on it's 4 th year of drought yet in my area, the days are cool, overcast, and with heavy curtain of drizzle or a thick wall of fog. The mist/fog wraps around everything like a cold wet blanket that leaves you trembling with a chill that creeps into the bones.
I delight in this weather when others are seeking the sun and the basking under it's hot rays. I seek the shadows and creep in the darkness. The darkness is a powerful ally that protects from the unwanted eyes peering into your life.
As the years pass and I become more set into my routine and the daily
Long ago I felt deep inside in the bowls of my being burning. A fire burning fiercely , consuming my soul. This fire inside left me in a state of perpetual hunger. My mind aching to be filled itself with knowledge. Books were my main meals for years.
I felt it flowing in my veins. A force or something powerful magical and oh so wonderful that I know I was destined for great things.
When I took those early steps into my manhood and began to choose a warrior life. I know that my soul will be hammered in the crucible of life and a decade of military training has tempered into a strong man. Every ounce of sweat that was wrung out of me molded me into more than just a man. My mind like a sponge absorbed every fine detail.
I learn many lessons early on that I must let go of my ego. I must let the energy of life flow into me and me to release it back into the universe. Each time a little bit of myself is taken away, then only would I have any success that is pure and not easily taken away.
First, I had to tame the rage that roared inside me. My anger consumed my fear and it also consumed my pain.
The years of abuse at home and among my peers would also temper me into a powerful man with a very strong justice. My eyes began to see only black and white. All things are equal in the universe for we are all illumines beings we are. Energy is all that surround us, penetrates us, and bind us together. In the universe we are all equal, the color, race, gender, and lifestyle does not see it and treats all the same.
So now in my middle age, I become more reflective with the past and making amends with the present so my future can have peace and I could lay into my grave with no regrets.