Heartache has been my bestfriend and worst enemy for most of my life. In the past month heartche has given me a many of things. Sorrow, strength, drive, stress, a clear mind, and many more things.
Most people that meet me would classify me as scatterbrain. From one thing to the next. But that's not true. I'm a thinker. My brain thinks to much. Five different conversations at one time in my head.
Today was a trying day. I was up I was down. I was all turned around. I tried to stay away from my computer as much as possible. To only find myself on it for hours at a time. So I went down and played guitar. I went down and played drums. I screamed. I sang. I did a lot of different things. Till finally I thru on my jogging clothes and went out. I went up one hill to go right back down another. I pushed myself and then let myself slide. I jogged to visit my mom. She rest at the Hudson Park Cemetary. I layed down beside her and we talked. I let her know my problems. I thanked her for being there for me. We talked for quite a while. I promised to come back more often. There are so many things to talk to her about. That had been the first time I'd talk to her in years. And it felt good. I said goodbye and let her know I would be back in the morning. Then continued with my workout.
So do you know me? No. Most people don't. I've come to find that I meet people when they need me. And I'm ok with that. I've seen a lot of people come and go. I'm just happy to have been part of their life. I am no angel, and I can be very selfish. But I also have a big heart. Would you let me love you?
You know me better than that. I to love you unconditionally. I'm sorry that I've had to take the front as not caring. But I have to proctect myself. Just like you, I'm looking after myself. I would never want to hurt you. I know I have on a many of occasions. But I am done. I will always be a phone call away. I'm in a better mindset now. We did what we had to. If our paths crossed again I would not walk away. You will always be in my heart. And I will always love you unconditionally. If anything it will grow stronger for you. Not that I won't move on. Our time is not an open and shut case. I can pretend it's that easy but I know the truth. Rest easy and know that I'm ok. I'm taking care of myself. It's been 23yrs but I think I've truly learned how to.
I am not deep. I am not poetic. I am up, down, funny, sad, mad, and so many more things. I write for myself. I write for you. I write for the person beside you. Five different conversations in my head at one time...............
Most people that meet me would classify me as scatterbrain. From one thing to the next. But that's not true. I'm a thinker. My brain thinks to much. Five different conversations at one time in my head.
Today was a trying day. I was up I was down. I was all turned around. I tried to stay away from my computer as much as possible. To only find myself on it for hours at a time. So I went down and played guitar. I went down and played drums. I screamed. I sang. I did a lot of different things. Till finally I thru on my jogging clothes and went out. I went up one hill to go right back down another. I pushed myself and then let myself slide. I jogged to visit my mom. She rest at the Hudson Park Cemetary. I layed down beside her and we talked. I let her know my problems. I thanked her for being there for me. We talked for quite a while. I promised to come back more often. There are so many things to talk to her about. That had been the first time I'd talk to her in years. And it felt good. I said goodbye and let her know I would be back in the morning. Then continued with my workout.
So do you know me? No. Most people don't. I've come to find that I meet people when they need me. And I'm ok with that. I've seen a lot of people come and go. I'm just happy to have been part of their life. I am no angel, and I can be very selfish. But I also have a big heart. Would you let me love you?
You know me better than that. I to love you unconditionally. I'm sorry that I've had to take the front as not caring. But I have to proctect myself. Just like you, I'm looking after myself. I would never want to hurt you. I know I have on a many of occasions. But I am done. I will always be a phone call away. I'm in a better mindset now. We did what we had to. If our paths crossed again I would not walk away. You will always be in my heart. And I will always love you unconditionally. If anything it will grow stronger for you. Not that I won't move on. Our time is not an open and shut case. I can pretend it's that easy but I know the truth. Rest easy and know that I'm ok. I'm taking care of myself. It's been 23yrs but I think I've truly learned how to.
I am not deep. I am not poetic. I am up, down, funny, sad, mad, and so many more things. I write for myself. I write for you. I write for the person beside you. Five different conversations in my head at one time...............