My exgirlfriend used to get insanely furious over the tiniest things... it was clinical, she had meds for that shit. A few of my exgirlfriends were on meds for that shit, actually... Ok, all of them.
Anyway, she'd lose her mind over the smallest, normal day-to-day annoyances. After a few years I figured out that you needed to nip that shit right in the bud before it got outta hand, otherwise youd have a pissed off, sad, needy, vindictive sack of nutjob on your hands... and that shit dont wash off easy.
Kinda like molasses that cries while throwing things at you.
So I had to come up with some way to let her know she was crossing the line into insanity without pissing her off and making it just escalate out of control. Its a delicate fucking process people, trust me. What I was doing is trying to tell her that her life was like a fucking movie. Im watching the movie, so I know that Mrs. Doubtfire is Robin Williams in a dress, Bruce Willis is a ghost and shit like that but she doesnt. Shes IN the movie. Shes the dumb blonde walking up the stairs TOWARDS the serial killer we ALL KNOW is there.
So I say, DELICATELY: baby, Im watching this movie of your sanity (or lack there of). I can hear the music escalate when youre getting towards a big event. I can see cutaways of your craziness seconds in the future. (this movie has a creative editor, it jumps back and forth a lot, go with me here). I can tell you when youre about to be attacked and help you. Let me help you."
She seemed up for the idea, thanks to my clever movie analogy.
So I figured out how to warn her. I give her a teaser trailer of the movie thats about to happen. She comes home, sees my dirty socks on the floor and starts to ramp some insanity up. I walk out of the kitchen munching on like 5 eclairs at once, see her face turning red, spit out the eclairs and try to diffuse the situation.
In a world where eclairs really don't cost that much and are easily purchased at the corner store. A young man TEMPORARILY places his socks on the floor FOR ONLY A FEW SECONDS, then picks them up and places them in the hamper. It seemed like all was lost but in reality, it was just temporarily not perfect. All is well in the world..."
That would usually calm her down. It helps to have some movie trailer music cued up on a nearby stereo at all times. You really want to set the mood. Try keeping some popcorn and 3D glasses in key positions around your house and whip them out mid-trailer. It'll work!
One final thought: Feel free to come up with trailers for sequels if she tries to bring that argument back again. And trust me, she WILL try to have that argument again. Thats how women roll.
"Just when you thought it was safe to eat eclairs barefoot in the kitchen... "
Don't forget to check out my HD erotica! Booking new shoots now, wait till you see who's booked!!
Sassie
Pesky
...and check out the impromptu set I shot with Sassie!
"Steamy"
Anyway, she'd lose her mind over the smallest, normal day-to-day annoyances. After a few years I figured out that you needed to nip that shit right in the bud before it got outta hand, otherwise youd have a pissed off, sad, needy, vindictive sack of nutjob on your hands... and that shit dont wash off easy.
Kinda like molasses that cries while throwing things at you.
So I had to come up with some way to let her know she was crossing the line into insanity without pissing her off and making it just escalate out of control. Its a delicate fucking process people, trust me. What I was doing is trying to tell her that her life was like a fucking movie. Im watching the movie, so I know that Mrs. Doubtfire is Robin Williams in a dress, Bruce Willis is a ghost and shit like that but she doesnt. Shes IN the movie. Shes the dumb blonde walking up the stairs TOWARDS the serial killer we ALL KNOW is there.
So I say, DELICATELY: baby, Im watching this movie of your sanity (or lack there of). I can hear the music escalate when youre getting towards a big event. I can see cutaways of your craziness seconds in the future. (this movie has a creative editor, it jumps back and forth a lot, go with me here). I can tell you when youre about to be attacked and help you. Let me help you."
She seemed up for the idea, thanks to my clever movie analogy.
So I figured out how to warn her. I give her a teaser trailer of the movie thats about to happen. She comes home, sees my dirty socks on the floor and starts to ramp some insanity up. I walk out of the kitchen munching on like 5 eclairs at once, see her face turning red, spit out the eclairs and try to diffuse the situation.
In a world where eclairs really don't cost that much and are easily purchased at the corner store. A young man TEMPORARILY places his socks on the floor FOR ONLY A FEW SECONDS, then picks them up and places them in the hamper. It seemed like all was lost but in reality, it was just temporarily not perfect. All is well in the world..."
That would usually calm her down. It helps to have some movie trailer music cued up on a nearby stereo at all times. You really want to set the mood. Try keeping some popcorn and 3D glasses in key positions around your house and whip them out mid-trailer. It'll work!
One final thought: Feel free to come up with trailers for sequels if she tries to bring that argument back again. And trust me, she WILL try to have that argument again. Thats how women roll.
"Just when you thought it was safe to eat eclairs barefoot in the kitchen... "
Don't forget to check out my HD erotica! Booking new shoots now, wait till you see who's booked!!
Sassie
Pesky
...and check out the impromptu set I shot with Sassie!
"Steamy"
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
maible:
damn now i wish i lived in PA
kas:
I KNOW