rmcmi006

So im not much of a blogger but this has been quite a month for me. first and foremost, im am seperated from my wife, and we are getting a divorce. we tried to see if anything was still there and its not. the good news is we are parting on the best possible terms for this kind of situation. i have a daughter and a step daughter with her, and we both agree that they are the most important thing, and that regardless what happens, we are both going to be there for them. i wont lie, it was rough getting to that point. there was a lot of arguin while she was gone, and it was hard, but it was issues we had long before she left. when she got home, it just wasnt the same. i will always love her, but im no longer in love with her. nor she with me. and we are ok with that. we will always remain friends.

a lot of the problems ive had in my relationship can be associated with my personality type. i generally tend to give my all, and ignore all the bad to make my partner happy. ive done it in almost all my relationships, and if it wasnt for a few people ive talked with about it on here, i probably would have kept doing it until i finally broke. im so grateful for some of the people ive met on here. they have made me realize that i need to think of my happiness more, and happiness will inevitably follow in my relationships.

i have become close with someone while going through this. sharing a similar struggle has caused me to develop feelings for her. she sees a lot of things the same way i do, and i could never express how grateful i am for her. we definitely seem like we have a promising future. but be that as it may..... its in the future. im not looking to get hurt, or put my all into something until im ready to do it. and i know that if i pursued anything right now, thats what i would do. and i already KNOW that i would just end up getting hurt again. so for now, im content to work on myself with the help of friends and those who love me. and hopefully, when we are both ready to move forward, we can do it together....


in other news, ive been feeling a lot of new and sometimes uncomfortable feelings. and being the person i am, decided to make a change. nothing drastic, but i shaved my face lol. i look like a teenager again. but it definitely felt like a change, and thats what i needed.